Abby’s was cancelled. Last month, actually. Abby’s, if you’re not familiar, is a sitcom about an ex-marine woman who runs a bar in her backyard. It’s kind of like Cheers, where there’s a wacky assortment of regulars and hi-jinks ensue.
Abby’s is a bit different, in which Abby has a long (unspecified) list of rules that must be followed, regulars get a chance to get perks, such as having a reserved seat at the bar or having a reserved mug or glass.
I thought it was funny. I’m guessing other people did not. I really like the idea of someone running a bar in their backyard, however illegal that may be. I wish I lived in a neighborhood where someone did that.
A place I could walk to and have some drinks. Talk to people and get to the know them. Be recognized when I arrive. Get stupid drunk and then walk home again.
I imagine I could walk over, go through the gate, and everyone would look over and yell out, “Hey, Les!” And that would be great, even though that’s not my name. I wouldn’t care, though. Then I could sit down and order a beer and drink it while people asked me about my day, and I asked about theirs.
Maybe I would meet a nice woman and we would strike up a conversation. We could talk about how we were both so horrible at small talk and laugh at how funny it was. Mostly because we’d both be pretty drunk by that point. Maybe she would like me well enough to go home with me. We could spend a sweet, sweet, minute making love. Maybe two minutes.
Afterwards, we could cuddle together and talk about little things. Like, I could mention the majestic mystery of the universe and how, billions of years ago the Big Bang created all the matter in the universe and flung it out across the universe so that, billions of years later, a series of giant, hot, burning balls of gas, billions of light years away from each other, would appear in the night sky of possibly the only planet with conscious life and appear as a common kitchen utensil.
Maybe, she would say, it didn’t happen that way. Maybe, thousand of years ago, there was a cave man trying to feed his family by scooping hot soup out of a clay cauldron with his hands, thinking there had to be a better way. Then he would have looked up at the night sky, saw the Big Dipper (or even the little one), and thought, if I could make something like that, it would be way better to use that than scooping hot liquid with these burning hands. And that’s why it’s better that the stars aligned in such a way to look like a ladle and not, say, a 30-inch, five burner Frigidaire range.
Then, I would point out, if a caveman was able to put together a five burner range, then we may have flying cars and moon bases by now. But she would have fallen asleep by then, her head against my shoulder.
It’s sad that it was cancelled before the first season was finished. Sometimes a show takes a while to gel. Like Jell-O. You can’t just whip up a batch of Jell-O and eat it right away, unless you like hot, fruity, soup. No, you have to put it in the fridge and leave it for a while. So it can gel. Well, I guess if you had super cooled water you could mix it with the Jell-O powder and eat it right away. I guess it’s possible. I’ve never tried it. Some shows just come together right away, like it was mixed with super cooled water. Those, I think, aren’t as common as the ones that need time to really come together.
In fact, some long running shows were in danger of being cancelled early. Like Cheers. It came in 74th out of 77 shows during it’s first season. That sucker grew legs, though, and ran for eleven seasons. Eleven years, that show entertained people.
So it’s a damn shame this one didn’t get to sit in the fridge a bit longer.