Tags

, ,


And here we are at day 20 and I’ve got not much to show for it. Granted, a large portion of this month has been filled will illness and pain. And, because of that, a serious lack of sleep. All in all, it hasn’t been a good month for writing.
I am disappointed. I had hoped to do things differently this year and to really keep on track and, hopefully, end up with something I was kind of happy with at the end of the month. 
There are many times when I do something for someone else because I don’t want them to be disappointed. I’ll do whatever I can to make someone else happy. 
This year I’m faced with quite a few problems. This illness, my cat’s health problems, the fact that I’ll be laid off in a few days and, because of that, will be spending my holidays doing nothing, going nowhere, and not spending any money. 
Last November I set a goal for myself. Not too many people cared about it, but I did. I worked hard to meet that goal. When I finally hit 50,000 words I was ecstatic because I had done what I set out to do.
This year, again, even though it’s not important to anyone else, I set a goal and failed. Miserably. I disappointed myself and I’m having a hard time reconciling that. Sure, I’ve got reasons why I didn’t make it but, in retrospect, they sound like excuses. Maybe having my face split at the seams is an excuse, maybe not. It’s just hard to take at this point what with everything else falling apart. 

Advertisements