I won’t lie. It’s been tough this week, and it’s only three days into it. Yes, I’m behind where I want to be. I have a hard time even reaching the 1,667 word minimum that I should be doing, had I not lost a few days to fate.
Some people have been concerned with me saying that I felt like quitting. A workmate, in fact, gave me a dressing down for even mentioning it. A couple of fellow NaNoWriMoers sent some interesting thoughts my way. A Google+ person even had some good words to say. This has not gone unnoticed and I appreciate it and it keeps me going.
The fact is, quitting is easy. Well, not for me. For me quitting can be hard, as I think I mentioned. I may be a loser, but I’m not a quitter and when it comes down to it I’d rather be an ‘also-ran’ versus a ‘never-ran.’
Sometimes, rarely, a conversation comes up about living forever. Most people say they don’t want to, for whatever reason. But I would. And when asked why, I say, “because I want to see what happens next.” That’s also why when unpleasant conversations come up about suicide I say I wouldn’t. Then people pile on all kinds of horrible things that could happen trying to find my breaking point. The thing is, though, is that the future is malleable and can always change. Something truly unfortunate could happen today, but that doesn’t mean that tomorrow won’t hold something better. Today may be crap and tomorrow may not be looking all that hot either, but what about the day after tomorrow? Or next Wednesday?
Maybe my ideas are running dry today, but that doesn’t mean tomorrow I won’t have a brainstorm and toss out a few thousand words. I may get despondent from time to time but it doesn’t mean I’ve given up hope, just that I need to vent a little.