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It’s over. The toys are broken, the batteries are drained, the tree is in the trash (maybe; they have a way of hanging around until April), the food is finally digested, the rum cake is wrapped and ready for re-gifting next year and there’s still that odd funky smell left over from the New Years party.

There’s not much to do or worry about unless you’re lucky and have a significant other. Even then, you have a month or so to prepare for it.

I’ve already made progress on my resolutions. One of them, anyway. Getting my apartment in order. I’ve thrown out a bunch of empty and near-empty boxes from my closet. It still wasn’t easy. I’m not a hoarder, but I find that I’ve kept a bunch of useless things that belonged to my wife. Empty pill bottles with her name on them, old hand lotion, and other mundane items. Stuff that doesn’t really have a connection to her and definitely doesn’t have a use for me. But they’re gone now. Throwing something in the trash doesn’t mean throwing away the memories, and most of the things in those boxes didn’t even have those. Since I had accomplished that I also went after the refrigerator.

There were things in there that were quite old even before I moved into the apartment. Tossing them in the bin finally opened up some room in there. The pantry is next.

There are things in there that were old when we moved into the house we lived in previously. Dumping those things in the trash mean not being able to play “Guess My Expiration Date,” though. Still, it would be nice to have the space in there.

It’s still hard, though. Rummaging around I find things that she thought I would find interesting but I never got around to making. Or things she wanted to try but never got around to making. I feel like I’m disappointing her by getting rid of it, even though if she were still alive she’d be trying to toss it in the garbage herself, considering how old some of the stuff is. The heart and the mind: sometimes they just don’t see eye-to-eye.

It’s an on-going process, though. I still haven’t decided on where I would “go out.” That will probably be a last minute decision kind of thing. I see advertisements for establishments called “Gentlemen’s Clubs.” I may look into those. I suspect they are places with large living room type areas, quiet, wood paneled, with roaring fireplaces. There are probably wing back leather chairs where gentlemen sit and sip brandy or cognac while having meaningful conversations about the current state of affairs. Such conversations are undoubtedly interspersed with comments like, “I say!” or “By Jove!” When the conversation comes to a lull everyone probably re-fills their pipes and tamps their tobacco.

I say, it was a jolly good idea to visit the gentlemen's club!

Work on my website is still on paper, working out all the kinks there. Well, not all of them — there’s always going to be something that’ll pop up once actual coding starts. It’s the Way.

I have, however, cooked some real meals. I do not even have a frozen dinner in my freezer. If I keep this up I may have to start looking for recipes to try. An unfortunate side affect of cooking is dishes. Tons of pots, pans and dishes end up getting dirty.

And, finally, the Aventador. I haven’t progressed much on that front on account of spending a lot at the grocery store for stuff to make dinners with. Someday, though… Someday.

I have decided that the time for lollygagging is over. I have begun work on my first book. It is guaranteed to be a blockbuster best seller. Here is the synopsis:

Billy, a poor orphan boy, was abducted by pirates. Living among these hardened sea travelers he wishes only to be free of their crude and frightening ways. Good fortune smiles upon him when he is rescued by a team of Ninjas. He lives with them, learning their ways, when he finds out that he is destined to slay the evil vampire wizard warlord and his army of zombies. The Ninja clan vow to help him and bring Billy into the family by revealing that they are, in fact, Ninja werewolves! They share their blood with Billy so that he, too, becomes a Ninja werewolf which gives him the ability to capture and tame the fabled Unicorn of Dreadmore Forest. With the help of the werewolf Ninjas and the Unicorn, which transforms into a mighty dragon, Billy defeats the undead army, learns that his parents are, after all, alive and the deposed king and queen of Tarantia. Thus, Billy, the werewolf Ninja, Unicorn-Dragon riding, ex-pirate, Prince of Tarantia realizes he’s the most special young man in the entire world that the ancient prophecies had foretold.

It can’t fail.