My astrological sign is "Scorpio." I don't know that it means much to me but I thought I would pick a random site and see if I fulfill what it means to be a "Scorpio."

"A Scorpio seeks perfection and has a strong sense of own worth; a Scorpio disdains mediocrity"

– This is at least partially true. I, however, seek perfection in mediocrity.

"As anintuitive and lucid person, a Scorpio has confidence in his own judgment. A Scorpio is tenacious"

– I don't know what 'anintuitive' means, but I guess this is true. I have absolute confidence in my judgement, even when it's absolutely wrong.

"Despite apparent metamorphoses, Scorpios do not change; they always resemble themselves"

– Uh… Okay? I always look like myself? I guess that's fair…

"Despite a peaceful appearance, a Scorpio is capable of great aggressiveness. A Scorpio is not afraid to attack."

– Well, I have more than a peaceful appearance. I am, in fact, quite peaceful. But if an inanimate object gives me grief I'm not afraid to beat it into submission. I'll teach that toaster a lesson!

"Death is not alien to Scorpios; it is a natural companion for them."

– This one seems spot on.

"The every-day concerns of the real world are overshadowed by the nocturnal impulses of the unconscious."

– I wish. I think I'd be a lot more interesting.

"A Scorpio is a reserved and silent does not seem to be affected by the vicissitudes of life and remains calm and silent, appearing to be indifferent."

– This is also true, I think. I'd need to look up 'vicissitude' but I'm pretty sure it's right.

It should also be noted that, as a Scorpio, my planet has been taken away from me. Now we all have to timeshare with other signs for a planetary body. Bring back Pluto, you bastards!

It's also been my fantasy that I would be stung by a radioactive scorpion and become a super hero. Then I could fight crime by poisoning people with my butt while carrying a bunch of babies on my back.

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