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I’m not going to lie. Wait. Yes. Yes, I am going to lie. However, they will be such subtle lies that you probably won’t even notice them, which begs the question: Why did I even mention it? Because I’m hopped up on caffeine, drove a lot of miles (I’d tell you exactly how many, but Google Maps is seriously broken and retarded but I reckon it’s at least 716), and am now sitting at the computer at 12:29am hoping the buzz will fade enough for me to sleep.

I visited the in-laws for Thanksgiving and they live 716 divided by 2 (roughly) miles away. I had a nice time and I’m glad I went. There was plenty of food, good conversation (except I’m almost always quiet), and visited the cemetery, which was … Not hard, not difficult, but hard and difficult. I brought daisies because I couldn’t find gardenias.  They weren’t much, I guess, but they were one of her favorite flowers. She loved the smell of gardenias, though. I’m glad I went.

But I tend to keep family stuff low-key on here, in an effort to preserve other people’s privacy so I won’t talk much about it. Instead, I’ll talk about the drive. And The Car. And the Ms. Navicomp.  If you’re reading this and you are family and you’re feeling a bit put out because I’m more inclined to talk about other things rather than a family gathering, please don’t. It really is a privacy thing and I don’t have permission to speak of such things and have no idea how it would be taken so I take the easy way out unless I’m told it’s OK.

All right. I slept for an entire day. Let’s see if I can remember what happened the day before yesterday.

So, there I was toodling down the highway, minding my own business. Then I got to Houston. Houston. Someone, at some point, decided that Houston had to have a complicated highway running through. At least one highway. More like two. Two that I know of and use, any way.

For a neophyte I suppose it can be somewhat complicated. You have to know when to stay left and when to stay right and when to stay left but still staying kind of to the right.

Now, imagine a cartoon. A cartoon with cars. Cars that whiz around, slow and fast, all over the place. That’s Houston. The speed limit is 60MPH through there and I was doing 70MPH. I don’t usually go ten miles over the speed limit but this day I was getting tired of people running up my bumper. And, even at 70MPH, people were passing me by as if I were going 35 1/2 MPH. That’s not so bad if the fast people stayed to the left and the slow people stayed to the right. That’s not how Houston works, though. You have to jet through the highways like a ping-pong ball shot from a cannon, weave from lane to lane, and then liberally apply the brakes at random intervals.

So I made it through Houston and, may I add, it was one of the few times it didn’t rain. And I made it to my destination, where I had a wonderful time. I ate way too much really good food, I talked (no, it’s true! not much, but still), and we visited the cemetery.

After some time had passed, as it does, it was time to head back. Everyone worries about me driving at night but I think I was born for it. I don’t get tired while driving; indeed, I’ve been known to get quite wired and woken up during long trips.

The trip back was relatively uneventful. I did stop for gas at one place that was probably not the best neighborhood. It started with another person blasting really bad music from his car. It wasn’t quite hip-hop, wasn’t quite R&B, wasn’t quite anything except bad. But I can deal with that. I went inside to get some coffee and found the cashier person behind thick windows. So I did what any rational person would do: stand outside, drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette, and using my expensive phone to update my Facebook status about what a scary place it was.

Then I was off. When I got to Houston again nothing much had changed. In fact, after having so many cars whiz by me and cut me off I went ahead and lost my mind. I put the hammer down. Not too far down, but enough to start passing people. As many people as I could. Fast enough to knock 40 minutes or so off the Navicomp’s initial time estimate.

In the end, I made it home. No problems, no worries, no issues.

One of the reasons why I stopped watching TV is because I hate commercials. I understand the need for advertising, but I find most of the commercials to be insulting to my intelligence. One of the reasons why I liked Hulu so much was that I could watch a TV show with only a couple of commercials.

One of the reasons why I’m about to ditch Hulu is because the commercials are getting overpowering, just like over the air. Worse, I’m more likely to see the same commercial over and over in just one show. Like I said, I understand the need for advertising but sometimes it’s just too much.

There are specific commercials I can’t stand but, thankfully, I forget what they are when I’m not actually watching them.

Speaking of advertising, in my area of Texas there’s a huge amount of road side billboards. I don’t mind them. Sure, they ugly up the area but so do the enormous amount of cell towers. The only signs that annoy me are the ones advertising the billboards. For instance, “Do Billboards Work? This One Just Did!” But it didn’t. Even after reading these words I’m not about to rent a billboard. Did I look at the sign? Sure. I also looked at trees, other cars, the sky, the road and the roadkill. The key is: I didn’t rent a billboard. And I have to wonder: If billboards worked so well, why are there so many billboards advertising billboard space?

The job is doing well, I suppose. I’ve got a slight problem trying to get a Juniper switch configured. Nobody knows how to configure it and the manual appears to have been lost to the cosmos. Then again, it may not be the switch at all. And that’s the fun of trying to figure things out.

So, there you go. Hopefully for the next blog I can get my separator graphics going again. I miss those.