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Today is my birthday. Technically.  I mean, it is but it doesn’t really matter. Today will be no different than yesterday was and won’t be any different than how tomorrow will be. There will be no parties, no gifts, no hearty slaps on the back. I don’t even have any friends to come around and take me for a drink.

Sounds pretty pathetic, doesn’t it? That’s because it is. So what am I going to do? Am I going to sit around and mope? Absolutely. I can’t think of anything else to do. I suppose I could go out to random places and announce that it’s my birthday but I think that’s even more pathetic than sitting in the apartment all day doing nothing.

I did, however, have a nice essay planned out. It was how I was going to be a palindrome again. You know, like ’11’, ’22’, ’33’, ’44’, etc. We don’t get many of those in our lives. Anyway, I was working on this thing when I realized that I wasn’t going to be 44 today, I was going to be 43. So, while I had to berate myself for being kind of dumb and wasting time on an essay I couldn’t use until next year, it was tempered in the sudden knowledge that I’m a year younger than I believed I was for the past few days.

The other thing my therapist asks me is if Facebook is a good replacement for real life. I’ve gotten a lot of birthday wishes this morning from people all over the country, and I appreciate each and every one of them. But it’s no replacement for having people in front of you, talking to you, being within touching distance. But, all in all, it’s better than nothing. At least I know that if I were offered one of those jobs at the South Pole, or in Siberia, I’d be able to handle it. Six months stuck in a small building? I’m all over it. I could do six months standing on my head.

I was pretty tired this morning. I went to bed around 10pm and woke up around midnight. Then  I went back to bed and woke up around 4am. I stayed up for a couple of hours and then went back to bed until 10am. Frankly, I could have gone right back to bed, then, and fallen asleep again. I really wanted to get to the store before noon, though,  so I showered and dressed and decided to treat myself to a Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. The guys at the counter remarked on how tired I looked. I got back in the car and just drove around for a little bit, just because I love it so much. Then I headed to the grocery store.

I’ve decided that I wouldn’t go to Starbucks unless a certain parking spot was available. It was, so I took it and then treated myself to another coffee. I could still use it at that time. Then I went to the store and picked up a few things. Then I went back to the apartment. Happy birthday.

Perhaps next year will be better. I’m pretty sure I thought the same thing a year ago, but you never know when things may change.

Let’s see what words of wisdom my unasked for horoscope has for me today.

The tone of your voice will make everyone who hears it feel as if they’ve been bitten by the love bug — so be careful what you say, and to whom you say it.

Well, I talked to the two guys at Dunkin’ Donuts but, while  they were both chatty, neither seem interested in buying my coffee for me. I talked to the guy at Starbucks but he, too, neglected to fall in love with me and buy me coffee. The less said about the guy who checked me out at HEB the better. Needless to say, he didn’t offer to pay for my groceries or carry my items out to the car. The only female within talking distance is Zoey and I already know she loves me. Guess I’m out of luck again.

Of course, it doesn’t say they’ll fall in love with me just that they’ll feel the bite of the love bug. I guess there’s four guys out there who are in for a nice night.

Glad I could help.

See how it is my birthday this would be a prime night to make whatever I want for dinner. But I won’t. It’s just going to be chicken breasts coated with Tony Chachere’s Creole seasoning and tossed in the oven. However, I am splurging and having a can of new potatoes and string beans. And for desert? Not a thing.

The only unfortunate thing is that I didn’t separate my chicken breasts before I froze them so I’m going to cook all three at once. I had thought there’d only be two in the package, but I guess that’s HEB’s way of keeping me on my toes. The downside here is that I’m not going to eat all three tonight and the skin will go from nicely crispy to very soggy in the fridge.

There’s still a bunch of stuff in the apartment I could put away in closets (if I had any) or storage. In reality, there’s probably a lot of  things that could just go in the trash if I could bear to get rid of it. The problem with tossing stuff is you never know when it’ll come in handy. Like the VGA cable I found myself needing a few weeks ago.

I have a couch and chair that I had a hard time parting with when I moved in here. Now I’m ready to get rid of them. They’re chewed up, scratched up, and generally destroyed.

The problem with being generally unhappy is that it’s hard to work up the enthusiasm to do anything of import. If I thought I would have guests it might be a different matter. Aside from the odd visit from maintenance people, though, nobody comes around. These days I keep hoping a pack of helpful Mormons will drop by. But, like police, they’re never around when you need them.

And that wraps it up for the big birthday edition of the blog. Just remember this: If you find yourself in a position where you feel like you never have time for  yourself, what with your family and friends always making demands on your time… Cherish them with every ounce of soul that you’ve got.