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Here’s the thing: I don’t have cable, I don’t have satellite, and I don’t even have an antenna hooked up to my television. I don’t actually watch TV on TV anymore. As I’ve pointed out, I only watch what shows up on Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. Because of this, I’ve missed shows that were on TV for the past ten years or so. There are entire seasons of The Simpsons that I haven’t seen, although it’s harder than Hell to figure out which ones since no matter what episode shows up at a restaurant, bar, or friends TV it’s one that I’ve seen.

It wasn’t always that way, though. As a kid I revolved around the TV. Even as a younger adult a lot of what I did was based on what was going to be on TV on whatever night. The VCR was my best friend.

The last time I talked to my therapist I realized that TV has, despite the last ten years of abstinence, ingrained itself in my life. I used TV shows to explain aspects of my life, even pulling out that old gem Herman’s Head. I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t think that’s a good thing.

Speaking of Herman’s Head, it’s a shame that show isn’t available on DVD. It was quite unique as a sitcom, least of all because it was funny. It lasted for three seasons which is a respectable length of time for a show to run. Hell, on FOX that’s a pretty good run.

You may be wondering why you haven’t heard from me in several days. I don’t know for sure because no one has said anything to me about it, but perhaps you are all just shy? Or afraid you’d be stuck with the body if you discovered it? I don’t know.

I have been alive and well, however. I just decided to take some time off to think about things. After a great deal of thinking, contemplating, wondering, ruminating and cogitating, I have decided to go mad.

Being completely alone and not having to worry about having unexpected company gives me the perfect opportunity to be quite mad. I don’t think I’m up to being stark raving mad, but mildly crazy is possible. Perhaps I can work my way up?

The first thing to do is to pick up some foibles. Little things, like keeping my cereal bowl in the fridge. That’s a pretty good start. Wearing underpants on my head would be fine if it weren’t so hot in here all the time.

If you have some things you want to suggest then, by all means, go ahead. I’d like to keep these “at home” crazies, though. I’d hate to pick up the habit of saying “wibble” at the end of every sentence and then getting a job. That may preclude getting a job at all wibble. After all, being nuts is something I’d only want to do on a short-term basis. Also, I don’t want to be a violent nut. Just gently crazy.

I’ve thought about hoarding, too, but I don’t have a lot of space to store stuff so that’s out. I already talk to animals and, sometimes, get an answer. I was just singing a duet of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” in fact. After that, my mind is a blank on what other things I can do to help me go mad.

Speaking of birds, Tooka the Cockatoo is quite an interesting fellow. He has a chain hanging from the top of his cage; a remnant of a toy he chewed up a long time ago. I noticed one day that there was a piece of colored rope hanging from it. A shredded piece of rope, or thick string, whatever it is. I thought it just got stuck there and took it off. A while later I went past the cage and noticed there was another stuck on there. He was on a perch and gnawing on it. A day or so later I saw that the rope was no longer on the chain, but later on another piece was stuck to it. It looks to me that he’s purposely hanging just one piece of rope on that chain to chew on while he’s looking out the window. I’ve never seen him do it, but it looks like it would take a bit of effort, and intelligence, to get the rope to stay on that chain. He may act like a fool, but he really is quite smart.

Speaking of madness, I see that Netflix has added the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episodes for streaming. I guess I’m not done with Star Trek after all.