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I don’t cook with Teflon. I have two birds in very close quarters and what I don’t need is to overheat the Teflon and kill them. My cooking is done with stainless steel, cast iron, or, for preference, the microwave. You know how it is, though, when you cook with something non-Teflon; it sticks to the pan if you burn it. Sometimes it’s hard to clean. You scrub and scrub and scrub, but that stubborn bit of crisped food won’t come off the pan. But that’s all right, isn’t it? I mean, it’s clean by now, right? Even if it’s old food it’s been scrubbed pretty well.

One of the great weapons in the Woman’s Arsenal is the question, “Why do you love me?” It’s great for putting men on the spot. I always thought it was just a way to be mean but I think, now, that it’s a way to measure creativity. Nothing goes unnoticed and women know why their men love them, if it’s a good relationship. It’s a great way to make a man think, to see what he’ll come up with, to see if he’s being sincere or just fishing. And it doesn’t matter what we answer because everything can be picked at, anything can be made to have a negative side, all of it can be something to tease. Keeping with the stock answers (“You’re a great cook!”, “You’re beautiful!”, “You’re really smart!”, “You’re a great mom!”, “Sex is incredible!”,  “You have a great sense of humor!”) and you’ll be suffering for it, but they’re still great things to hear especially if you don’t hear them often enough.

I’ve typed the word “Voyager” so many times that it no longer looks like it’s spelled correctly. It now looks like an alien word and I had to see if the spell check would flag it to make sure it was, in fact, spelled correctly. There’s probably some kind of psychological word for when that happens. It may also mean I’m losing my mind. If it does, then I was just joking. Ha ha ha! Yeah.

I now have 325 emails in my Russian Mail Order Bride inbox. Obviously, I am the most desirable man in America and Europe. I would shorten that down to Russian MOB, but that just looks wrong.

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