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I have a plan in life. People think I don’t. They think I drift from day to day hoping for nice things to happen. But, no, I have a plan. A couple of plans. Maybe even three.

One plan is to write a book and then become rich and famous nearly overnight. I’m only missing a few key items for this to be a reality: a plot, a story, some characters, and a setting. They can’t be that hard to piece together, though.

There’s also writing and selling a script. I’m not one of those people that have artistic hang-ups and I know that even if I were to sell a script there would be a good chance that a movie would never be made from it. If a movie was made, chances are extremely good that the script would be changed a lot before the film was finished. I’m all right with all of that so long as I get paid.

If you were a Hollywood producer, would you rather go through conversation A:

Producer: We’re very interested in turning your script into a movie. However, and this is really minor, instead of the protagonist being a red-haired teenager with pimples, we’d like him to have dark hair.

Writer: What? No! No, no, no! You can’t change that! That’s a major plot point! You’re tearing my art to pieces, man! I sweated on that script for ten years! My wife left over that script! So did my girlfriend! And my mistress! Don’t mess with my art, man!

Or conversation B:

Producer: We’re very interested in turning your love story in 1950s Communist Russia into a movie.
Me: Swell!
Producer: Except, and this is a really minor point, we’d want it set in 1960s Hippie America.
Me: Okay. That shouldn’t change much.
Producer: Also, we’d like to tone down the romance side and notch up the action a bit.
Me: Sure! Knock yourself out.
Producer: And instead of casting Edward James Olmos we’d like the protagonist to be a computer animated chicken.
Me: Whatever. Did you sign that check yet?

Not that the script writers ever get a say. They may not even ever be told. But, whatever.

Another idea is to come up with a new paradigm in social networking. So far my idea involves an interface that randomly changes everyday so that no two people will be looking at the same thing. Then I would write it up and wait for some other, bigger, company (Google) to buy me out for a few million.

I’ve also considered setting up a web set where everyone in the world could send me $1.00. I think that’s been done, though. Or thought of before. But it’s the one that requires the least amount of effort.

One sure sign of insanity is spending your morning trying to find a commercial for Peek Freans cookies. The old commercials that assure, in a nifty jingle, that Peek Freans are a very serious cookie. First, though, a lot of time is spent just making sure that was the name of them in the first place. And that it’s spelled right. I never did find one, just a re-creation of one. I’m really surprised, considering all the other commercials that can be found on YouTube. But I guess that’s (wait for it) the way the cookie crumbles.

I fell asleep last night with Voyager still on my mind. All of Star Trek, really. They’re all the same show, have the same characters, make the same mistakes. People have different names and different faces, but they’re all the same. The lack of consistency is what annoys me the most. With all the “quick fixes” they make to their ships that never last beyond one episode; fixes that would turn the ships into hulking, indestructible, undefeatable, starships of doom. But, that’s my last word on the subject.


Yes, it’s taking up too much of my time. And, besides, there’s another episode coming up and it’s the one that cemented my thoughts that Janeway is completely insane. But that will have to wait until I get there. That will be my last word on Star Trek, Voyager, and Janeway.

One of my guilty pleasures is watching The Biggest Loser. It’s very dramatic. Probably too dramatic. It’s probably scripted, too. It’s always fun to watch the trainers go ape shit on people, though. I’m watching the twelfth series opener now and I see they have Anna Kournikova as a trainer this year. I don’t know what the other people were thinking, but if I were on that show I would have dragged my other teammates across the line to get her as a trainer.

I would do this even if I had to cry for other, skinnier, people’s amusement.

I mentioned the changes Facebook made yesterday. One of the changes was the “Ticker” which constantly scrolls information about what your “friends” are doing: updating their status, commenting on things that you can’t normally see because you aren’t friends with the other person, and other things such as that. I watched this for a while, realizing that my friends were doing a bunch of stuff involving people I don’t know. They were joking around and making comments that I couldn’t participate in. I did not like this. How dare people do things that don’t involve me?

I’m 105 words short of 1,000 on this one. I tried and tried to think of something else to add, but I think I’m done for the day.