Yesterday, in the mail, I found an advertising magazine called, “Austin Elegant Living.” I just flipped through a couple of pages and saw an ad for laser hair removal. It has coupons for different areas, like the chin or the back of the neck.
I’m thinking, “It’s a laser!” A narrow, tight, focused beam of light. It can shave off hair and also, if I remember right, engrave different materials. So what would happen if I went to this place and wanted a design etched onto my face, so that if I let my beard grow in it would have a real cool pattern in there?
Another place, called “3 Graces” will use a laser to remove your hair and also your fat. There’s a coupon for $300 off that procedure. They’ve got a picture of a chubby woman with what looks like bulls-eye’s Sharpied on her gut.
I may call them up and ask how much it would cost to have my fat laser-lipo’d and, since they were in that area, to have a message lasered into my chest hair. Something manly, like “Go Bears!” Or a picture of a Hawaiian hula dancer. If I put a Longhorn logo or “Hook ’em Horns!” on my chest I could probably be a hero.
The other day I was complaining about how kids manage to not throw things in the garbage can. He said that they’d probably be more likely to use a garbage compactor. The reason being that they’re really cool when they smash things down into a cube. I find that logic hard to argue with but I’m still not buying a trash compactor. I’m sure a lot of things that didn’t originally intend to be garbage would show up in there, too.