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Yesterday, in the mail, I found an advertising magazine called, “Austin Elegant Living.”  I just flipped through a couple of pages and saw an ad for laser hair removal.  It has coupons for different areas, like the chin or the back of the neck.

I’m thinking, “It’s a laser!”  A narrow, tight, focused beam of light.  It can shave off hair and also, if I remember right, engrave different materials.  So what would happen if I went to this place and wanted a design etched onto my face, so that if I let my beard grow in it would have a real cool pattern in there?

Another place, called “3 Graces” will use a laser to remove your hair and also your fat.  There’s a coupon for $300 off that procedure.  They’ve got a picture of a chubby woman with what looks like bulls-eye’s Sharpied on her gut.

I may call them up and ask how much it would cost to have my fat laser-lipo’d and, since they were in that area, to have a message lasered into my chest hair.  Something manly, like “Go Bears!”  Or a picture of a Hawaiian hula dancer.  If I put a Longhorn logo or “Hook ’em Horns!” on my chest I could probably be a hero.Longhorn Logo

The other day I was complaining about how kids manage to not throw things in the garbage can.  He said that they’d probably be more likely to use a garbage compactor.  The reason being that they’re really cool when they smash things down into a cube.  I find that logic hard to argue with but I’m still not buying a trash compactor.  I’m sure a lot of things that didn’t originally intend to be garbage would show up in there, too.

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