Checking In

     I’m back from my vacation.  It wasn’t actually a vacation, just a couple of days off.  It seems like I’ve been gone for ages, though. 

     Now I’m ready to get back into the swing of writing things.  A bonus for all you lucky people!

     Unfortunately, today isn’t the day for that because I can’t think of crap to write about.  Just the usual nonsense that I sputter on about.  Just more random crap.

     I did some checking and the Dr Pepper/Indiana Jones contest doesn’t end until 8/31/2008.  You all still have a little more than a month to drink tons of DP’s and hope you win something better than a screen saver and desktop wall paper.  I’m really disappointed because I should have a bunch of free Dr Peppers by now.

     I did get to see Wall-E and Hancock, though.  It’s a lot cheaper to go to the movies when you don’t have a gaggle of kids with you.

     Wall-E is good, Hancock is okay.  I could’ve waited for it to come on video before seeing it, but I don’t feel terrible about seeing it.  It wasn’t bad at all, really.

     So what’d you all do over the weekend?

Why I Like Old Movies and TV

     In my last post I mentioned that I liked seeing old TV shows because of the differences in how life was lived.  Even if it doesn’t seem like it was that long ago, there’s a whole host of differences in how we live our lives.

     The same is true for old movies.  I’ll watch a really old movie just to see how things are so different.  Like, if you watch a movie from before the 1960’s, almost every guy is wearing a hat.  Or seeing a movie that has a man delivering ice.  Or milk.  Having four kids, milk delivery would be an awesome thing to have if the price were right.

     There are times wouldn’t I wouldn’t mind having ice delivered, either.  Especially when the ice maker on the fridge is busted.

     Anyway, I can watch a movie or TV show and enjoy myself without even having to pay attention to the plot or anything.  The only downside is that movies and TV aren’t the best place to find historical accuracies. 

Movies

     I watched the trailer for “Max Payne” yesterday.  As far as video game to movie conversions go, it looks pretty good.  It’s got Mark Wahlberg in it, too, and he looks like the perfect choice for Max.

     Movies made from video games have a spotty record.  Really big black spots.  They rarely turn out good and, if they do, they usually don’t have much in common with the game other than the name.

     “Tomb Raider” wasn’t horribly awful.  It had some pretty major plot holes but many people didn’t seem to notice.  They were too busy being blinded by Angelina Jolie’s enhanced boobs. 

     I hear there’s rumors of a Pac-Man movie.  Only God knows how they plan on doing that.

Punish Me

The sequel to 2004’s The Punisher should be out sometime this year.  It will be called Punisher: War Zone and Ray Stevenson will be taking over the Punisher role from Thomas Jane.  Personally, I think that sucks because I liked Jane in the role.  I guess Stevenson looks more like The Punisher, though.  Anyway, you can find the trailer here.

Punisher: War Zone trailer

It looks kind of “summer movie-ish” so it should be watchable.  I still like the first Punisher movie with Dolph Lundgren, though.  My opinions should be taken with a shaker of salt.

A Slow Sunday

Last night I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

I was afraid to see it because I thought it would be really terrible.  Like, new Star Wars trilogy terrible.  Thankfully, it was pretty good.  Good enough that I wouldn’t mind seeing Harrison Ford take one last outing as the swashbuckling archeologist.

What I wouldn’t want to see is Shia LeBouf taking over the series.  I don’t think his character is all that great and, more importantly, the 1950’s and 1960’s are not good decades for an Indiana Jones adventure.  The beauty of the 1900’s-1940’s is that the world was a lot more mysterious and unexplored.  By 1960 there isn’t a lot of mystery left.

Going back to a Young Indiana Jones or finding an actor that sort of looks like Ford and filling in the bits between Temple of Doom and Raiders of the Lost Ark would suit me better.  I don’t know how resistant other people would be to that, though.

Eureka, the Sci-Fi channel show, will start its new season in July.  I’m looking forward to it because I love the show.  I hope they keep up the good work.  I don’t remember how the last season ended.

One of the best things about being a kid in the 1980’s was sneaking into the television room and watching movies on HBO that you weren’t supposed to be watching.  It could make any movie seem like a cinematic masterpiece just because you weren’t supposed to see.  To a teenage boy, seeing an R-Rated movie, especially if it had nudity in it, was like finding the Holy Grail.  I suppose that’s sacrilegious, but it’s true.   I don’t mention that for any particular reason, just because it sprang to mind.  Okay, for some reason I just remembered about a movie called Joysticks that was pretty horrendous.  But it seemed good at the time.  Actually, I don’t even remember how bad it was because I haven’t seen it since, oh, 1983 or so.

Did you ever write or type a word and it looked like it was spelled wrong even though you’ve used it hundreds of times before?  In the previous paragraph I used the word “weren’t” twice and it looked so totally wrong I had to look it up to make sure it was right.  Weird, huh?

Otherwise, it’s been a slow Sunday.  Oh, fashion designer Laurent is dead.  He’s quite famous, etc.

That figures.  I forgot to post this, so now it’s a Monday post.  Derr….

Beowulf

I watched Beowulf this weekend.  Surprisingly, I

Released: 2007

Go to IMDb page

Information © IMDb.com

Beowulf

Robin Wright Penn, John Bilezikjian, Brice Martin, Sharisse Baker-Bernard, Julene Renee, Rik Young,

didn’t know it was a computer animated film until shortly before I rented it.  This reminds me that we’re nearing the point when actors will no longer be necessary.

This isn’t the case yet, though.  Watching Beowulf is kind of like watching a not-funny Shrek.  Sometimes the animation is good enough that you kind of forget that you’re watching a computer animated film, and sometimes it’s extremely obvious

Released: 2004

Go to IMDb page

Information © IMDb.com

The Polar Express

Tom Hanks, Eddie Deezen, Peter Scolari, Andy Pellick, Josh Eli, Rolandas Hendricks,

because they move a lot like the humans in Shrek.  Which is odd, because they use the same technology that Polar Express used.  I didn’t like that movie much, though, and didn’t watch it all.

Other people may see this as a bad thing but I try and look at the positive side:

• Franchises can last a lot longer.  People don’t like it when a character’s actor changes.  Who would want to see an Indiana Jones that wasn’t Harrison Ford?  This way, the character never has to age but the voice actor will sound the same (usually) for years and years.  Even switching the voice might be easier if they sound alike.
• Actors could keep their privacy.  If it’s not them on the screen, then they wouldn’t have to worry about being recognized everywhere they go and having the paparazzi follow them around.  The on-screen representation need not look like the actor at all.
• Studios could continue to film a picture even if the stars are having issues.  If your top-star is busy drying out or in jail or doing something stupid, you can keep going without them.  If it turns out the star couldn’t finish the picture, just re-record the lines.
• The horny director won’t have to scrap his sex scenes because the actress won’t show her boobs.
• You can re-make old classics, in color, with the original actor.

I’m sure there’s a lot of other benefits to

Released: 2007

Go to IMDb page

Information © IMDb.com

Shrek the Third

Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Julie Andrews, Rupert Everett, Justin Timberlake, Cody Cameron,

making films the Polar Express/Beowulf way.  The big downside, right now, is that it doesn’t look good enough yet.

That’s my challenge to Hollywood, then: make a movie that doesn’t require crazy CGI special effects (drama, comedy, chick flick) using all CGI and see how well it goes over.

Movie Trailer Reviews

These trailers can be viewed at http://www.apple.com/trailers and you need Quicktime installed.

Speed Racer: I liked the cartoon. I really hope the movie is better than the trailer. Everything looks… fake. Okay, maybe that sounds kind of stupid but, really, everything looks fake. The movie is not a cartoon, it’s live action. But everything in it looks computer generated. And what really looks bad? Speed’s helmet. Really bad.

Kit Kittredge an American Girl Mystery: It looks like a 1920’s period piece about a girl who wants to be a reporter. Not usually my cup of tea, but it has Wallace Shawn as a cranky newspaper editor in it. How bad could it be? Also, Jane Krakowski is in it. Damn you, Janie Krakowski, etc.

10,000 B.C.: I don’t know about this one either. Wooly Mammoths figure big in this flick. Basically about a guy that leads another bunch of guys in a war against some other dudes back in 10,000BC. Oh, and a lost civilization. I can’t figure out if it would be easy to have a lost civilization in 10,000 B.C or hard (how long could they have been lost for?). Anyway, it’s full of action and near-naked guys so it’ll probably be a hit. The women look quite nice for neanderthals.

Wanted: A “Train the incompetant kid to be an assassin” movie. It has “Summer Movie” written all over it. Also, it has Angelina “Hot Lips” Jolie. And a Dodge Viper. This is definitely a summer movie and, as such, I am required to watch it no matter how bad it is, or how stupidly unrealistic the stunts are.

Hellboy II — The Golden Army: If you liked the first Hellboy, I don’t see any reason (so far) not to like this one. It looks like more of the same. Also a summer movie if I’ve ever seen one.

The Dark Knight: After Joel Schumacher ruined Tim Burton’s Batman vision, the studios decided they had to start from scratch. Good idea. Christian Bale is a decent Batman and this movie looks like it’ll be pretty good, if comic book to movie conversions are your thing.

Wall-E: A Pixar flick about a robot. I like all of Pixar’s movies, so I reckon this will be good. The trailer is pretty funny. It still looks more realistic than Speed Racer.

Hancock: Will Smith is a super hero who racks up a lot of damage and doesn’t quite do the right thing. This looks good, too. The trailer is worth it just for the whale.

A Welcome Addition

There’s a new computer in the house.  This is happy news because, I hope, it means the stress will be taken off of this one a bit.  This one is my baby, and I’ve had it forever (in one form or another).

It’s been a couple of weeks since I update KDE 4, so I thought I’d give that a shot this morning.  I quite enjoy using it, although the composite effects are not quick when I’m doing other things.  Like updating the system.  Also, I’m getting a bunch of empty “icons” in the middle of the screen since updating to RC2.  Still, no harm no foul.  Just some annoyances, which I’m still expecting at this stage.

We went to see “I am Legend” last night.  I thought it was OK, but some things didn’t make a lot of sense.  I know the general flow of the movie, so I knew what was going on, but it seemed to me that they cut out some important bits.  I won’t spoil it, even though you’ve probably seen it before if you’re familiar with “Omega Man” or “Last Man On Earth.”

Speed Zone

I watched Speed Zone this weekend. I was surprised because it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was supposed to be the third movie in the “Cannonball Run” series but, for whatever reason, it didn’t get the title.

It’s got a lot of cast members from SCTV, like John Candy, and quite a few other big names (for the time). If you like the “Cannonball Run” movies I’d check this out, if you’re able to. It doesn’t appear to be very popular.

I like cars, but I don’t love them or base my life around them. I particularly like the 70’s era muscle cars and anything that reaches “exotic” or “supercar” status. But I do like driving. You won’t find me with a wrench, but at least I know where the go-faster pedal is.

That’s probably why I like racing games so much. I don’t like games where the cars are made up. I really prefer the ones that license real cars. And I prefer games that don’t make you race around a track all the time because I think it gets boring really quick.

I’m almost tempted to pick up a steering wheel for Test Drive: Unlimited, though. It’s a $100.00, but I think it would be neat, especially since TD:U has real cars and doesn’t make you race around a track. In fact, it lets you race on “real” roads like you were in your own little “Cannonball.”

There’s a psychologist who thinks you should start giving your kids alcohol at a younger age (watered down and/or in moderation) so they get used to it and don’t feel like they have to binge when they get into their teenage years. I do agree with this. I think if you want a kid to try something out then tell them how forbidden it is. Part of the job qualifications for youth is to be rebellious. It happens. But I think if you’re honest with your kids and don’t patronize them you get more respect out of them. When they respect you then they’re more likely to think of you when their low life friends try to get them to do stuff they know you wouldn’t be happy about.

My ideas on energy conservation are different than other people’s. I don’t think we should cut down on the amount of gas or oil that we use. I think we should use it all up as quickly as possible. Get those cars with a big V8, drive an SUV, run the lights all the night. Go ahead. Use up all the oil and then, when we’re all sitting in the dark and walking to work, then you’ll see how fast we start working on alternative forms of energy.

As it is, nothing will change because we’re all so used to everything this way. Unless someone comes up with something really new and radical (i.e., cheap) then we’ll keep doing what we do until we’re forced to change.

Hurtling Towards the Vanishing Point

Nostalgia continues to creep over me like a fungus.
This weekend I watched several movies. The first of these movies was Death Proof. It’s a Tarentino movie, part of the Grindhouse movies, and it deals with car chases. Q wanted to capture the feel of the 1970’s exploitation and car chase movies. It was all right. It wasn’t actually all that great, but it mentioned several other movies that I’d never seen but had wanted to for quite a while.

Vanishing Point is about an ex-cop-military-race driver turned junkie. He delivers cars for a living and makes a bet with his pusher that he can drive from Denver to San Francisco in 15 hours. Thus beginning a long police chase as he eludes them in the Challenger he’s supposed to be delivering. There’s not much plot there, but it’s an interesting flick.

The original Gone in Sixty Seconds is about a group of car thieves getting a collection of 48 cars to be shipped out. It includes a massive chase scene at the end involving a bunch of cop cars and a yellow Ford Mustang fastback. I’ve read a lot that says it was a Mach I, but it didn’t look like a Mach I to me; it was missing the Shaker hood for starters.

Then there was the classic I’d never seen but always heard a lot about, especially in the context of computer games: Death Race 2000. One notable thing about this movie is that it has Sylvester Stallone in it. It’s a highly satirical movie about a futuristic race (it takes place in the year 2000, ahem) where the drivers get points for killing anyone dumb enough to be on or near the road during this presidentially sanctioned race.

Finally, as a counter to the revolution-themed movies, I watched Herbie the Love Bug. A movie I haven’t seen since I was just a wee little lad. For being a Disney film, I have to say the acting was better in the this older movie. And, yes, it’s quite dumb and silly but it’s still better than Herbie: Re-Loaded.

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I had thought that movies had gotten a bit raunchier as time went on and standards slipped a little more. I was really surprised by the amount of swearing and nudity in these movies.
Vanishing Point, for instance, has an entire scene with a naked woman riding a motorcycle. She does her entire scene naked and nothing is said about it. It was like she was wearing clothes, but she wasn’t. Death Race 2000 also had quite a bit of nudity. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, I’m just surprised. Gone In 60 Seconds only had Playboy centerfolds hanging on a garage wall, but it had a lot of ethnic slurs. Against the Polish. When was the last time you saw a movie where the main characters were Polish? I grew up in a Polish family so you can imagine my surprise when one guy told another to shove something up his ‘dupa.’

What current movies have, though, is more sex. Less nudity but more sex. How does that work?
Herbie, being a kids movie, filled it’s own quota quite nicely. It’s got sex, violence, alcoholism, and esoteric conversation. And hippies.

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So what did I get out of all this? I really miss my car. I drive around in a stupid SUV and I hate it. I wish I could plop down a couple hundred dollars to get a 1970’s Dodge Challenger or Charger, but those things are running anywhere from $14,000 up to $100,000. Not cheap.
The desire to hop in a car (not an SUV) and drive cross-country still grows, just as it’s been growing since I was a teenager. Back then, the idea of getting in my RX-7 or Trans-Am and hopping on Rt. 80 and following it west was very tempting. And things aren’t the way they were back in the 70’s, or even the 80’s. It’s not the same world.

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Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run, Gumball Rally, Vanishing Point, Gone in Sixty Seconds, Death Race 2000… There’s probably a few movies I’m missing. In fact, next weekend I’ll have to see if I can find Bullit and Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry.
If any of you can think of more car chase type movies, just let me know.

If anyone knows where I can get at least a working yet inexpensive Challenger, Charger, Barracuda, Mustang, Camaro, Duster, Scamp, Demon, or Dart you can let me know that, too. I’ll learn how to restore cars if I have to, and I’m a quick learner when I want to be.

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Oh, before I finish this I want to look at two things.
There was a television remake of Vanishing Point about ten years ago. I didn’t see that one, either, but reading through the plot line I see they changed it. Instead of having not much of a plot, they give Kowalski (another Polack!) a full name, a wife, and an actual reason for driving 1200 miles eluding the fuzz.

In the remake for Gone in 60 Seconds (made in 2000? Was it really that long ago?) the main character (who is no longer Polish) is an ex-car thief who has to steal cars to save his brothers life.
When did we become such pussies? The heroes in the two originals were criminals. They broke the law and they got away with it (sort of). Somehow we lost that rebellious edge, and I think that’s sad, too.