GoE: Searches I

My weblog is hosted on WordPress.  My main blog, anyway.  The other blogs are kind of mirrors of this one since I use Windows Live Writer most of the time.  The other blogs are hosted on LiveJournal and Microsoft Live.

Anyway, WordPress is (I think) where most of the action occurs.  Although it’s also the only one that really shows me what’s going on.  One of the handy tools it has is to show what search criteria was used to reach the site.

I’d like to take a moment here and address some of these searches.  Somebody was looking for something specific and they got here; the least I can do is provide some kind of answer.

So here we go.

• orange kittens – I have one picture (that I know of) on this site that features an orange kitten.  This kitten has brought over 350 people to this blog.  This is both a boon and a curse to me because I put a lot of thought into my blogs and to get the most traffic because of a cute, fuzzy orange kitten irks me.  On the other hand, it brings people here and maybe, just maybe, has caused folks to visit on a constant basis.
• dr pepper indiana jones contest – Then there’s this Dr Pepper contest.  I think in the short time I’ve posted about it, it’s been the second most popular reason for people to come here.  This has little to do with me because I think I’ve only complained about the lack of decent “low-range” prizes.  But (again, on the other hand) it’s brought a whole lot of people here and it’s amazing to me that I can be on the front page of Google if someone searches for it.
• parrott on shoulder – Yes, we have a parrot.  And yes, she rides on my shoulder all the time when I let her.  It’s an interesting experience and I recommend it to anyone, even though it’s not something you’re supposed to do.
• my dr pepper bottle cap says uwin – Good for you!  Hopefully by now you have gone over to the Dr Pepper website and entered your code, which you need to do to redeem your code.  It’d be great if you won, say, a screen saver or computer wall paper.
• milkshake poptarts – The Strawberry Milkshake Pop-Tarts are another big draw to the Garden of Entropy.  I’m not sure why, but it did encourage me to try other strawberry milkshake flavored items.
• my uwin cap dont work – Bummer!  Make sure you’ve got the correct contest.  The current one is the Indiana Jones promotion.  The last contest was just a “1-in-6” thing that wasn’t tied to anything.  That one is old and outdated, just like that Dr Pepper may have been.
• cat destructive licking – My friend, Dave, has de-clawed cats.  I mention this because I’d never heard of cats having destructive licking properties but he mentioned last week that his de-clawed cats do lick the corner of their scratching post to pieces.  I’m not entirely surprised since a cats tongue is very rough for the purpose of stripping meat from bones.  I suppose this could be a reaction to having their natural defense ripped from their feet.  Personally, I’m against having cats de-clawed.  If you’re worried about your furniture then don’t get a cat.
• gentoo after kde 4 problem install black – This is a problem that I had using the 4.0 version of KDE.  It has not happened to me since I upgraded to the 4.1 beta.  The way I got around it was to either turn off compositing or, if I really wanted the special effects, to wait for the black screen to show up and then hit CTRL-F8.
• parsippany nj – Parsippany, NJ, is my home town for most of my childhood.  If you’re looking for something in particular you should ask because I really don’t talk about it that much in the blogs.  It was a place where I got real pizza, real bagels, and delicious Dunkin’ Donut’s coffee, which is denied me here in Austin, TX.
• 2008 challenger – I love the look and idea of the new Dodge Challenger but I’ll probably never get one unless you happen to be a wealthy philanthropist who found my site and is ready to buy me one as per my wish list.
• kde4 trashcan – If you’re looking for a trashcan on the desktop of KDE 4, it’s a plasmoid (or whatever they’re called).  A widget.  If your distro has the widgets, you’ll need to add the trash can widget to see it on the desktop.
• cookies and cream pop tart – I never mentioned it in my blogs (well, I don’t remember it) but this Pop-Tart is disgustingly sweet and I can’t eat it.
• chef chased by a pickle – I found this search term pretty funny.  I’m assuming someone forgot the name of the arcade game, “Burger Time.”  A classic.
• where are the strawberry oreo cookies – I see them at Wal*Mart all the time.

So those were the more interesting searches for last week.  There’s a whole lot more, but mostly they’re kitten, Dr Pepper, and Pop-Tart related.  I hope this has been of some help to somebody.

Strawberry Milkshake Trilogy

Strawberry milkshakes are in style.  After sampling a Strawberry Milkshake Pop-Tart, I tried the Strawberry Milkshake Oreo cookie.  Finally, I can complete this trilogy with the Strawberry Milkshake Whopper.

I like Whoppers.  I don’t think I would go out of my way to get any, but if one were offered I would graciously accept.  I also like strawberry milkshakes.  The real ones that come in a cup or glass.  What could go wrong?

Not much, really.  Out of the three strawberry flavored items, I think I liked the Whoppers the best.  Probably because they can be taken in small doses. 

They still look weird, though, being pale pink and spheroid.  My co-workers wouldn’t touch them even after I asked them to try sucking on my small pink balls. 

Anyway, they’re not as sweet and over-powering like the Pop-Tarts.  They almost taste like strawberry, being slightly less Quik flavored than the Oreo’s.  And you can still bite them in half and let your tongue dissolve them from the inside out.

They also have them in a funky retro-looking package.  Evidently Hershey’s has been releasing a few of their candies with retro packaging.  It’s neat.

Punish Me

The sequel to 2004’s The Punisher should be out sometime this year.  It will be called Punisher: War Zone and Ray Stevenson will be taking over the Punisher role from Thomas Jane.  Personally, I think that sucks because I liked Jane in the role.  I guess Stevenson looks more like The Punisher, though.  Anyway, you can find the trailer here.

Punisher: War Zone trailer

It looks kind of “summer movie-ish” so it should be watchable.  I still like the first Punisher movie with Dolph Lundgren, though.  My opinions should be taken with a shaker of salt.

Dr Pepper Indiana Jones Contest Stuff

The Dr Pepper site is working again so I entered in my four caps this morning.  Three of them had “uwin” at the bottom so I knew I won something. 

This is what I got for my three “uwins:”  a screen saver (the same screen

saver I won before), a screen saver (the same screen saver I won before), and a wallpaper picture (which is the same picture that’s on the screen saver).

Now, I don’t want to seem ungrateful but the whole purpose of a contest is to get something that’s worth more than what you’re paying for.  But of course, the chances are stacked against you so you end up paying a lot of money to win something.  In the end, you may end up behind rather than ahead.  But in terms of one item, the prize should be worth more.  I pay a dollar for a 20oz Dr Pepper.  I expect a prize to be of equal (another Dr Pepper) or greater value (Lamborghini Muira).

This screen saver and wall paper don’t cut it.  In fact, Dr Pepper shouldn’t even be annoyed if someone puts them both on their website because it’s just additional advertising for Dr Pepper.  I’d be happier if they mailed me a poster.

Still, I suppose they didn’t have to have a contest at all.

Oh, and why am I entering in the ones without “uwin” at the bottom?  Because I’m a clever bastard and if I were running the contest I would have all the crappy prizes be given away with the caps that say “uwin.”  Then people would get accustomed to having “uwin” mean you win something.  And I would put all the good prizes on the caps that didn’t have the “uwin” so people wouldn’t bother entering them.  Then I’d take all the left over prizes that are never claimed and live the good life.

Hah.

Monday of the Walking Dead

It’s Monday morning and I’m beat. 

I might as well get this out of the way first, though.  George Carlin has passed away.  This is not a good year for celebrities, it seems.  George Carlin will be missed by nearly everybody.  I would go through a list of everything that is Carlin, but every news outlet and personal blog has already done that.  Of course, if you’re reading this you already know and that makes this entire paragraph superfluous.

Otherwise, it’s a normal Monday. 

One of the side-effects of getting older is that you leave a lot of past behind you.  Your mentally starts to change from, “Wow! This new thing is cool and way better than what I had before!” to “Um, it’s more complicated.  Is it really necessary?  Is it any better than what I have now?”

Maybe, when you were just a young kid, you had a favorite cereal.  As you grew up you changed cereals and started getting more “adult” brands.  Then you get old enough to think, “Hey, I really liked Brand X Cereal when I was a kid.  I’m going to get another box for old time’s sake.”

Then you get to the store and they don’t carry it.  Then you call up the company and check the web site and find out they haven’t made Brand X Cereal since you were a kid.  You start going through different phases, like denial (“I’m sure I saw a commercial for it not long ago”) and anger (“What the hell?  It was a good cereal! Why’d they stop making it?”).  Even though you haven’t even thought about it in twenty-some odd years, you’ll feel kind of offended that they stopped making it.  Just because.

I say “kind of,” even though it doesn’t seem proper.  But what I mean is that you won’t feel so horrible that you’ll need to miss work, or start crying or anything.  But deep inside you feel, well, let down.  Or that the fact that you liked the stuff is invalidated.  Or, worse, that you’re older and everyone has moved on past something that was a staple of your life.

Strawberry Milkshake Saga: Oreo

A few of you might remember that I was less than enthusiastic about the Strawberry Milkshake Pop-Tarts.  In short, I thought they were way too sweet and they didn’t taste very good at all.

My mom graciously donated a package of Strawberry Milkshake Creme flavored Oreo’s so that I could try them out.

Since it actually does say “Limited Edition” on the package, I ripped it open right away.

The cookies look like Oreo’s, of course.  The only difference being that the inside is pink instead of white.  I really can’t say anything bad about them.  They aren’t my favorite cookie, but they don’t make me want to throw up and give the rest of the package away, either.  They are quite sweet, though.  Almost too sweet, but the cookie part mixes well with it so it’s not overwhelming.  Overall it tastes a lot like Strawberry Quik.  You could probably make your own “Strawberry Milkshake” anything if you had a canister of Nestle Strawberry Quik.

Yesterday And Today

Year: 1982

The tan station wagon ground to a halt in the driveway.  One of the back doors flew open and a boy jumped out, clutching a large box, and ran towards his two friends who were waiting at the front door.

“I got it! I got it!” he yelled.

His friends jumped and cheered.  Then they all ran inside to the rec room where the big television was.

Wendell opened the box and took out the contents, an Atari VCS.  His friends took the twist ties off the joysticks while he plugged the power into the wall socket. 

“Oh no!  I need a screwdriver,” he said.

“What for?” asked Ed.

Wendell held up a small box with some wires coming out of it.  “I have to hook this up to the antenna thing on the TV.”

After a few minutes and some grumbling from his dad, Wendell came back with a screwdriver.  In a few seconds he had the RF switch box hooked up to the television.

“Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!” exclaimed Skeezix, the fat kid of the group.  He was practically dancing.

Ed plugged the Combat cartridge into the VCS and Wendell flipped the power switch to on.

“Ha!” cried Wendell, “I creamed your tank again!”

Skeezix passed the controller back to Ed with a look of tired resignation.

Year:2008

The green minivan ground to a halt in the driveway.  The side door opened up and a boy ran out lugging a large, heavy box.

“I got it!  I got it!”  he yelled as he ran towards his two friends who were waiting by the front door.

“Yes!” they both screamed out, jumping up and down.

After dad unlocked the front door they ran in to the living room where the large HDTV hulked.

They got the Playstation 3 box on the floor and opened, taking things out and getting them out of the wrappers and bags.  Wendell plugged the power cord into the wall, then took the AV cables and squeezed behind the TV to plug them in. 

“Where’s the USB cable?” asked Ed.  “I can’t hook up the controller without the USB cable!”

Skeezix, the fat kid of the group, waved the black cable at Ed.  “Here it is.” 

They finally got all the cables sorted out and hooked up.

“Okay,” announced Wendell.  “Here comes the power!”

Skeezix hopped in small circles on one foot exclaiming, “I can’t wait! I can’t wait!”

Wendell touched the power button.  They waited, captured by wonder, as the logos and opening music finished.

“It wants to know the time,” said Ed.

“Mom!  What time is it?”

Wendell’s mother called back, “It’s a quarter to two.”

The boys thought about that.  “What time is that in numbers?”

“13:45” his father yelled out.

“Mom!”

“Oh for Pete’s sake,” sighed his mother.  “It’s 1:45.”

“Ok!”

“1:46, now,” added his dad.  “PM.”

Wendell operated the pad furiously, entering the time and date.

“Here we go! Here we go!” yelled out Skeezix.

“Now it wants the network information,” said Ed.

“Uh, okay.”  He used the controller to type in the name of the wireless access point.  “This is freakin’ tedious.  Skeezix, go upstairs and get my keyboard.”

Skeezix ran out of the room while Wendell stared at the screen.

“Just type in the password anyway,” said Ed.

“I can’t.  I don’t remember it.”

“How can you not remember the password to your router?”

“C’mon, man.  The computers all remember it, I don’t have to.”

Skeezix came back with the keyboard and plugged it into the USB port of the Playstation 3.

“Wait, I think I remember it now.”  He typed it in and they waited while the unit tried to connect to the network.

“It’s in!” yelled Skeezix.  “Yes! I can’t wait to start playing.”

“You’re gonna have to,” said Ed.  “Now it wants to update itself.”

The boys waited while the Playstation started to download it’s new firmware.

“How long’s it been at 1%?” asked Skeezix.

Wendell sat on the floor with his chin on his fist.  “I dunno.  A couple of minutes.”

“Two minutes for 1%?” groaned Skeezix.

Eventually the update downloaded, then the Playstation 3 updated itself and rebooted.  They sat through the opening bits again.

“Okay,” said Wendell.  “What game do we want to play?”

Skeezix and Ed both yelled out, “Gran Turismo!”

Wendell slid the disc into the console and they waited for it to load.

Skeezix’s feet tattooed a crazy rythm.  “I can’t wait!” he said.

“Huh.  You need to install it first,” said Ed.

“Oh my God.  Okay.  It shouldn’t take that long,” sighed Wendell.

It did take a while.  When it was finished they started up the game.

“The intro looks fantastic!” said Ed. 

“Start it up!” yelled Skeezix.

“It wants to update again.” said Wendell, shocked.

“No,” said Ed.  “I think it’s the game that needs to update now.”

The boys waited through the update.

When it was done, Wendell waited for the game to start up.  It didn’t.  “It’s not doing anything now,” he said.

“You have to restart the game,” yawned Ed.

“Oh.”  Wendell told the console to restart the game and they waited for the intro to start again.

“Wendell,” his mother called out.  “It’s time for dinner.”

Skeezix’s eyes got big.  “Already?  I gotta go.”

“Me too,” added Ed.

“Can you guys come over tomorrow?” asked Wendell.

“Um, sure.  Say, maybe you want to install all the games and stuff tonight and make sure everything is updated.  Then we’ll come by.  OK?”

“Er, okay.  That’s good.”

Happy Fathers Day

I know, it’s a day late.  But better late than never, right?

Yesterday, June 15th, was Father’s Day.  Many people don’t like Father’s Day.  Or Mother’s Day, or Valentine’s Day or any other day.  It’s not a holiday, the logic says, it’s a commercialized pseudo-holiday.

And they would be right.  But does that make it wrong?  As a single young guy, I would say, “Hell, yeah, that makes it wrong!  Fight the Man!  Down with commercialization!” 

As an old married guy with four kids, I see it a little bit differently.  I see it as a day when everyone can reflect on what dad’s do and just say, “thanks.”  Gifts, really, aren’t necessary.  Not that I want to give mine back, no I don’t.  But it doesn’t have to be about the gifts.

See, Hallmark might create the holiday, but they don’t make it commercial.  We do that.  We think we have to buy a new pack of golf balls, a tie, and a grilling apron that says “Kiss the Cook!”  and give it to our dads. 

Maybe a phone call or a letter or dropping by and seeing if the gutters need cleaning out would do just as well.  Or saying, “Hey dad, you know all those times you took me and my friends to do whatever and you really didn’t want to, but you did it anyway?  Well, I never said thanks so I want to say it now." 

We’re always so busy bitching and complaining about everything that we never, ever, look at the positive side of things.  Or the easy solutions.

You want to stick it to Hallmark for making these holidays just to sell greeting cards?  Then don’t buy a card; sit down and write a letter.  Write something more than, "Dear mom/dad/wife/husband, I love you, signed, me," and stop letting those sappy, crappy cards try and capture how you feel about someone.  Get off your ass and go see them, call them on the phone.  You don’t need to choose a pre-fabricated, mass-produced poem to tell someone how you feel about them. 

If you don’t want to buy a gift, or can’t afford to, they’ll know that and it won’t matter.  If you feel like you need to get them something, then do something for them.  Clean the gutters, mow the lawn, rake the leaves, push them back into their easy chairs when they try and get up to do some work and take care of it for them.

These holidays don’t have to be a curse, they can be a blessing.  A day that you stop saying, "I’ll call tomorrow" and actually call.  Use it as the final reminder, not as a looming threat to your credit card.

Friday the 13th

And here it is, Friday.  Except today is also Friday the 13th.  It’s no big deal to me, though; I’m just happy it’s Friday.

So I got the new camera and have been dragging it around with me just in case I get a chance to snap a few pictures of something interesting.  I never did, though.  Yesterday I went to the grocery store.  There had been a bird there that would use the display birdbath that’s set up outside the door.  I could walk right past her and it wouldn’t bother her unless I tried to take a picture with my cell phone.  I hadn’t seen her in a long time, so I left the camera at home.  Predictably, the bird was there having a bath.

Oh well.  My creative juices just aren’t flowing today.

What the devil?

I like to pretend I’m a writer, so I’ll cruise around Writers Digest and see what’s going on there.  These days they have members of their staff blogging, and one of the blogs was about blogging.  I’d link to it if I could remember which one it was.

Anyway, one of the tips about a good blog is to come up with an interesting, probing, question to get your readers to leave comments and become involved.

I see I have a problem.

Well, to be honest I have a lot of problems.  But specifically, I have a problem with blogs.  Like, barely one person comments.  I’ve already come to the realization that I don’t really have anything to offer.  I don’t “photoblog” or provide step-by-step cooking instructions.  I don’t do weird experiments with tinfoil and baking soda.  I don’t have my own TV show or a book.  I’m not a self-help guru.  I’m not a reporter.

I’m just some guy.

A clever guy.

So, after sitting here quietly and thinking to myself I have developed a probing question for my readers (if I have any; for all I know all my hits are search bots) to comment on.

And here it is:  Why are you reading this?

Now I expect an answer, even if you just found this page by mistake.  Just write that down.

Don’t forget that you can also visit GardenOfEntropy.com and check out the forums and pictures.