A word on Pop-Tarts: Strawberry Milkshake

Kellogg’s now has enough different flavors of Pop-Tarts that I think I could review a flavor a week and last out the year.  Maybe a review a day.  I don’t think I could handle that, though.I’m a big fan of Pop-Tarts.  Chocolate Fudge, Strawberry, Blueberry, even Brown Sugar Cinnamon. You know, the classics.Now they’ve got a whole slew of things like S’mores, Frosted Cookies and Cream, Hot Chocolate, Hot Fudge Sundae, a line of whole grain flavors, and Splitz, which are two flavors in one pastry.They also have a flavor called “Strawberry Milkshake.”  

This morning I had the opportunity to sample the “Strawberry Milkshake” flavor.  Bear in mind that I love Pop-Tarts.  I’m one of the few people that admit to liking Pop-Tarts.  Pop-Tarts, if you’ll stretch a comparison, is like pornography: everyone says they don’t like it, yet it continues to make quadrabillions of dollars every year.So, to get back to the tasting, this flavor is quite vile.  According to the web site you could try them frozen.  I had mine at room temperature.  I can’t even imagine what it would taste like if it were toasted.  Sometimes, though, if  you eat it just right it kind of tastes like Nestle’s Strawberry Quik.  But that’s kind of rare. What’s worse is how it looks.  It doesn’t look like a strawberry shake; it looks like pale pink, solidified semen.  Well, it’s kind of gooey, even at room temperature.  So maybe just pale pink semen. Maybe it’s because I’m old, but Pop-Tarts, the ‘exotic’ flavored ones, seem way too sweet to me.  Most of the time they don’t taste like what the boxes are labeled, they just taste like sugar.  Perhaps I’m just getting too old to enjoy Pop-Tarts.