Here’s an interesting news item for you cat lovers out there.
Genetic Research Leads To Cuter Cats
In an exciting development of genetic research, The Landry Institute has released news of their new experiments with cats. More specifically, with kittens.
“People love kittens,” said Dr. Landry. “They’re cute, they’re fluffy, they’re small. Watching them play is a joy. Even when they’re doing something destructive, they’re just as cute as buttons.”
Dr. Landry believes that his new development in genetic research will keep millions of cat lovers happy.
“Eventually the kitten owner notices that the little tyke isn’t so little anymore. The kitten has turned into a fat, lazy, destructive cat. Nobody gets a kitten thinking that they want a lazy, surly, genital licking cat,” explained Dr. Landry
The Landry Institute has developed a way that will keep a kitten a kitten. Forever. By snipping out certain links in the DNA chain the growth and maturity of a kitten is stunted.
“Using our research, kittens will stay kittens. Always cute and lovable.”
Does this mean that the kitten will live forever, not aging?
“Ah, sadly, no,” says Dr. Landry. “The kitten will still have about the same life span. However, working with partners involved in the cloning industry we have come up with a solution. The kitten needs to be brought in for regular checkups. When we determine that the kitten is near the end of its life cycle, it’s cloned. When the clone is ready and the kitten is brought in for another checkup, it’s replaced. The owner need never know that the little fellow was switched. It is, in effect, immortal.”
What does the future hold for the Landry Institute?
“We’re pretty sure we can do the same thing for puppies,” said Dr. Landry. “And we’d like to do the same with human babies,” he continued. “But we’re having legal issues there, for some reason.”
“People love babies. They’re cute, they’re small and adorable. Watching them play is a joy, even when they’re doing something destructive. They’re cute as buttons,” Dr. Landry explained. “But nobody has a baby keeping in mind that they’re going to grow up into fat, lazy, surly teenagers. Granted, they don’t lick their genitals as much, but still.”
August 2, 2006 at 4:43 am |
I thought this was funny until I saw this:
http://www.savingsandclone.com/services/cat_cloning.html
November 9, 2008 at 7:04 pm |
i want to kno where we cann buy this kitty
November 10, 2008 at 8:24 am |
I wish I could help you there. I would check your local animal shelter and see if maybe he’s there. If not, you may find a kitty just as good, if not better.
January 10, 2009 at 3:49 pm |
Oh my freak that’s terrible!
January 11, 2009 at 2:04 pm |
Which part is terrible?
August 4, 2009 at 1:41 pm |
Hi, love the picture of the kitten!!!! it’s as cute as can be. I have to kittens i just got them in May. so there only a couple months old. But they’re bigger. Again cute kitten.
BYE(:
August 4, 2009 at 1:46 pm |
Oh, im so sorry u lost your cat. U should check the local shelters or even far away. I’d do anything to get my kittens back. and if u cant find him, i know a great animal shelter, where i got my kittens from. it’s the “apl” u can google it if u wanna. Good luck on finding your kitten.
September 13, 2009 at 10:12 am |
That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard! It is not natures intention to have a bunch of kitty be kitties forever, the owner should know that every animal grows up, and should understand that before he/she gets a pet. It’s just not right.
And do that to human babies!? That should be outright banned. Just envision the future, since everybody is excited about having their kids say kids forever, the future will be run by little working 4 years old? Does that sound right to you? Does it sound right to change what nature does just so you’re own pleasure? And whichever parent has a baby and doesn’t know that they will, “grow up to fat, lazy, surly teenagers” should be jailed for being so stupid.
DUMBEST AND CRUELEST IDEA I’VE EVER CAME ACROSS.
September 14, 2009 at 6:20 pm |
I’m sure it’s not legal to do anything like that to human babies.