Social Media Anxiety


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I’ve said this before but I’ll go ahead and say it again. This time it’s directed more towards something like Google Glass. I like the idea of Google Glass. In fact, I wouldn’t mind having one if for no other reason than sometimes while I’m driving I see something I’d really like to take a picture of but I can’t stop or can’t pull over or can’t whip out my phone in time to get a picture of it. Tapping the Glass and having it take that picture would be great. But, apparently, this would be against the law. But it would still be neat.

There’s a lot of hatred that people have for Google Glass. Wearing one in public means giving people permission to punch you in the face. Why? Because they don’t want their picture taking and, obviously, if you’re wearing a Glass you’re doing nothing but taking pictures of random people on the street. Because people with cell phones never take pictures of people on the street. Ever. They’re just sending text messages or surfing the web. And there are no security cameras taking pictures, either. And people with cameras? Well, they deserve to be punched in the face too. Because fuck them taking a picture of me. In public. Where I have no expectation of privacy.

In all honesty, I think people like that are morons. If you don’t like it, maybe you shouldn’t go out in public? But that’s not really the point. It wasn’t that long ago (okay, it was but there’s no need to make an issue of it) that people in high school were making fun of me for knowing about computers. This was back in the day when the world was still in black & white and Atari, Apple, and Commodore roamed the Earth. I was called a nerd, a geek, a dork, and other imaginative names. I was picked on and bullied. Today, those same people are walking around with their cell phones, on their laptops, and trying to add me as friends on Facebook.

Amazing, huh? So, I imagine in a few years a lot of people will be walking around with Glass or something comparable and conveniently forgetting that they were threatening to punch people in the face for wearing them. Why? Because a lot of people just plain don’t have brains in their noggins. I’m sorry for being so harsh, but those people deserve it. Not for having a problem with technology that they use everyday, anyway, but because they put themselves out there as being idiots.

I know a lot of people who hate Facebook, too. I’m on Facebook. I don’t love it, but I use it. Hell, I don’t even like it that much. But it serves a purpose for me. One of the common reasons I hear for people not liking Facebook is “because it sucks you in and steals your life.” I haven’t actually noticed  this. I do, however, notice how people stay in all weekend because [sport] is on. Or sitting at the bar with their eyes glued to the TVs because [sport] is on. And they’re going to take their vacation time to go and see [sport]. And did you watch the [sport] game last night? No? Are you some kind of retard because you don’t like [sport]?

Yes. Yes, I am a retard because I don’t live my life cheering on a [sport] team that doesn’t affect my life in any way, shape, or form. I don’t get depressed because my team didn’t win. I am a loser because I didn’t punch some other team lover’s nose when their team won, even though I have no vested interest at all in my own team. This, somehow, makes me a loser.

I have accounts on all social media sites that I’m aware of. Mostly my interest is in the technology that drives the sites. How do they do things differently? What neat-o things do they do with the site? In truth, I don’t use most of them. I look at them for a day or so and then I forget about them. The new MySpace looks neat, but I have no use for it. Therefore, I don’t use it. Pinterest got old pretty quickly. Instagram is kind of a hassle for me. But, to be clear, that’s for my uses and I don’t begrudge anyone for using them. I certainly don’t wish violence upon them for their choices.

And, anyway, I’m universally ignored on almost all social sites. I try and contribute but I mostly get glossed over. Even on question and answer sites. I don’t know how many times I’ve given a correct and usable answer to something, only to be ignored and have someone later give the same answer I did and be enthusiastically thanked. It’s a little disappointing, but I suppose that’s my lot in life.

Hell, this blog is a good example. I’ve been writing here since, what? 2008? I’m lucky to get 10 visitors a day, and I suspect those are web crawlers (sites scraping for search engines). However, if someone else starts a blog and writes, “I cliped my toenails 2day. LOL!” they’re treated like the next Edgar Allan Poe. This means, essentially, that everything I’ve written here in the last six years is less interesting than someone clipping their toenails using bad grammar and worse spelling.

Well, whatever. It would be foolish to dwell on such things and just keep on moving on.

Living in a Post-NaNoWriMo (2013) World


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It’s done. It’s over. The words have been set down, the pages written, the hair torn out.

I’ve taken a few days off from doing much of anything. While I know I was never forced to participate in NaNoWriMo and I know that, technically, I could have quit anytime I wanted, it’s still a weird feeling not feeling like I have to write a lot every day. It seems a little empty.

There was no celebration, there were no ‘high-fives,’ I did not buy myself a reward or even take myself out to dinner. I just kind of sat there wondering, “What now?”

Indeed. Well, there’s a lot of directions to go in. I could go back and read through the slop that I wrote and begin to edit it into something that is not slop. I can fix any plot holes or action gaps. I can cut things out that shouldn’t be there or add things that really should be. I can, in fact, wrangle it into shape to maybe submit for publishing. Or publish it myself.

Oh, while I’m thinking about it, a couple of other things that I learned last month:

The first is: One funny event does not a novel make. Having one good idea and trying to force an entire novel around it is not always a good idea. Especially when you begin to lose interest in it.

The second is: You can start a project fretting about not having a plot, or a specific goal, or specific characters. And that’s okay because during the course of writing something these things could very well end up resolving themselves.

So what does this mean for me? What, exactly, are my plans?

I have two sci-fi ideas I would like to get down, although I think I’d like to take some time to actually prepare for them. Maybe outlining or taking notes. One would be as simple as Dungeon Crawl, I think, just because it lends itself to that kind of thing. The other is a bit more complicated. Perhaps one could wait until next November. Not in the spirit of procrastination, but because setting myself a challenge to finish something seems to work well. Hell, maybe there is more to the waitress story.



NanoWriMo – Day 30 The Final Day


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The Why

I’ve known about National Novel Writing Month for a few years. Every year I thought I would sign up and see if I could write a novel in a month. Then November would roll around and I would forget about it. Then, in December I would remember about it and end up reading a lot of things about it and how some people were able to do it and others weren’t. Then I would forget again for another year.

This year, a couple of months ago, I was driving to work and a thought popped into my head. It was a small thing. An adventurer dying a dumb death in dungeon by a trap. I liked it. I thought I would write it down and file it away for future reference like I have so many, many, things.

This snippet would sit on a hard drive (and in ‘the cloud’, and a USB drive) for as long as that medium lasted, collecting dust and suffering from bit rot. Because I would never get back to it. I would never use it. It would just be a scene in my mind that I might think about every once in a while.

I really liked that bit, though. I was determined to write it down. I am, however, mentally deficient in so many ways that I can’t count them. Also, I’m horrible with math. Anyway, I would write it down, but I couldn’t just have this scene floating in the aether by itself. I needed a reason for it being there.

That led to writing an opening to a story, to give the characters a reason for being down there in the first place. So I wrote it. Believe it or not, it was one of the longest thing I’ve ever written that wasn’t a complete stand alone piece.

[At least that's how I feel. Many people will point at my short-short story, "A Chance Encounter At The Inverted Oasis" and say that I never finished it. Then I say, "Yes, I did. That's it. That's the entirety of the story. There is nothing more." And then they argue with me saying, "No, it's not done! I need to know what happens to the waitress!" And then I pull out the author's greatest tool; the tool that has annoyed many students over the years. The tool that goes: "What do you thinks happens to the waitress?"]

I posted that piece online as soon as I was done with it and showed it to a guy a work. I got a surprisingly lot of positive feedback on it. Three people (that’s a lot for me), said that I should continue it.

And I toyed with the idea because, of course, I hadn’t gotten up to the point where the guy gets killed in the trap. But then October came and was nearly gone when I remembered about NaNoWriMo. “Maybe,” I  thought,”I should sign up this year. And work on this story and maybe, just maybe, I can actually complete a story that’s longer than ten pages.”

So I did. I stopped working on it (which wasn’t hard, because I hadn’t worked on it since I wrote it) and waited until November.

This doesn’t really explain “The Why,” though. The real reason is because I really consider myself a failure in life. I’ve never had any real goal in life besides surviving from one day to the next. Granted, I’m good at that. I’ve gone through a lot of tough times and never stopped and said “I give up.” Well, okay, I have. Frequently. But I never actually gave up. Sometimes I just need to vent, despite learning that people don’t want to hear me vent. Everything that comes out of my mouth is required to be colored by rainbows and tasting of lollipops.

So, the reason why I committed myself to writing fifty thousand words in thirty days was so that I might actually finish a story I started and I could set a goal that would be met relatively quickly and I could feel like I accomplished something I set out to do. You see how deeper meanings can work their way into everything?

If I didn’t make this goal, then I would know that I was an abject failure in everything I would ever try to do and rain clouds would form above my head and I would grow moles on my face and children would scream in horror at the sight of me and the world would explode.

So it was pretty damn important to me to succeed.

The How

When I committed, when I finally signed up on the NaNoWriMo site, the very first thing I did was change my Facebook and Google+ cover photos to show that I was a participant. I told people at work that I was going to do this and I made a semi-big deal about it. I did not do this to ‘toot my own horn’ and show people that I was great and that I was going to write a freakin’ novel in thirty days. I wasn’t going to grow a goatee and wear a leather jacket with tweed elbow patches. It wasn’t so that I could show that I was so hip that my pants wouldn’t fit any more.

I did it for the shame factor. Just officially signing up was done for the shame factor. Then I forced myself to post on the message boards there so that people would know I was involved and my word count would show up under my picture.

The reasoning is, if I kept it to myself nobody would ever know I was trying to do this. If I went that way, which is my normal way, then it would be very easy on, say November 4th, to say, “Screw this. I’m going to watch TV.” And then I would be done. Another year, and I’m running out of years, would go by when I did nothing but look for episodes of “Holmes & YoYo” on YouTube. And nobody would say anything, chide me, for not giving it my best. I could be a failure in secret.

If people knew, I thought, then it would be harder to give up. Family might ask me how I was doing. They might send me encouraging notes. They might waggle a figure at me in disappointment if I thought about throwing in the towel. If I didn’t complete this task I would be shamed. Shamed!

Sadly, it appears that the majority of people I know had no interest whatsoever in what I was doing. There were, however, three people that I know did show an interest. Some fellow NaNoWriMo’ers that I don’t know were also supportive. And, in truth, if it wasn’t for them I would have quit.

So, getting on with it. I had grand plans. Oh, such grand plans, on how I was going to do this. My story was simple. I made sure of that. Because simple is easier and easier is… uh. easier… This wasn’t a grand story of kingdoms rising and falling, it was just a group of people running around in a dungeon trying to not get killed. Like a role playing game. Just like a role playing game! And you know what would make this whole thing easier? If I used a role playing game to set up the situations! The story would write itself!

All I needed was a rule book, some dice, and a pad of graphing paper. I would use the GURPS rule book because I like how you make characters with that. Mostly, because if you want to give a character a huge advantage, you also have to give them a huge disadvantage. This keeps you from creating a ‘superman’ who has no faults or weaknesses. I would create characters from somewhat random die rolls, give them a personality through their traits and that would be that.

Encounters with monsters would be the same thing, including combat. If a character was grievously wounded in combat, then they would be wounded in the story. If they died, well, that’s the breaks. If they succeeded, then they could gather up the loot and I would keep track of that, too.

It would be a beautiful system and my story would be finished in no time. So I bought the rule book. Eventually. Then I talked about getting dice, but never actually did it until my workmate drove me to a gaming store and made sure that I bought some damn dice. I bought a bunch of six-sided die and also multi-shaped steampunk themed dice even though GURPS doesn’t use them. I just thought they looked really cool. And I picked up graphing paper to keep track of the dungeon levels the characters would go through.

I was all set. And it was now November. And that beautiful system I had thought of, worked on, bought things for? Never happened. Oh, I half-assed drew a kind of dungeon level with the graph paper, but that was it. I had a choice of writing my story, or sitting around rolling out characters. Not that I didn’t use the rule book, because I did when I wanted to look up particulars about magic spells or something about monsters. But, mostly, just collecting dust.

I didn’t plan out my story, either. I wanted to. I wanted to have something to refer to, but, no, that didn’t happen. It was all about the writing and I was going to have to fly by the seat of pants and pull things out of my butt.

To write fifty thousand words in thirty days you can get away with writing 1,667 words a day. That sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t. In fact, by the time you reach the period of this sentence you will have (hopefully) read through 1,656 words. And this has only taken me about an hour or so, including getting up to get coffee, to tell my parrot that she’s gorgeous, and to get distracted with things on the Internet. So, figure maybe two hours a day of straight writing and you’ll be at 50,000 with ease.

I started pretty strong. Some days I was even ahead by a couple of hundred. So, if one Monday I wrote 1,800 words I thought, hell, Tuesday will be easy. I’ll just write 1,500 or something. This is a bad thing to do. At least for me. I should treat words like money. If I make extra, put it away and use it for a rainy day. Because what usually happens is that something goes wrong. In my case, I got sick and lost about four days of writing. I could barely move and spent the majority of my time sleeping. I ended up being 2,000 words behind. And then 5,000 words behind. And then 10,000 words behind.

Even when I was feeling better it was hard to write because I would end up being so tired by the time I got home from work, I just wanted to feed the critters and go to bed. So I would write a few hundred, maybe a thousand words, before I passed out. That looks okay, when you view your stats. “Okay,” I thought,”I wrote 500 words so now I’m only 3,000 words behind. I’m catching up!” But then the next day comes around. That 3,000 turns into 4,667 as if by magic. Then I write another 600 words so now I’m 4,007 words behind. It just keeps slipping away. Do that long enough and you start to believe that you can never catch up. If you go back a few blog posts you’ll see that I was at that point.

I went to work and told my coworker that I didn’t think I could do it. I was too far behind. I was done. Kaput. Put a fork in me. Then he gave me a stern talking to. And it surprised me, shocked me really, that he thought enough of me to give me all sorts of reasons for not giving up. And other online people gave me pep talks. And it meant the world to me.

So I pushed on. I spent entire weekends just writing. Writing 1,667 words was out of the question. I would have to put in 4,000 or 5,000 or more. I started having very peculiar dreams that had nothing to do with what I was writing. Driving in the car meant thinking of a new situation to put my characters in. I would write things down to use later on.

I came to some realizations, too. For one, I had too many characters to comfortably manage. I felt like I was leaving people out when writing scenes. I realized that I didn’t have any place for certain personality types that I really wanted in there because it got a little tedious and contrived. I realized that I didn’t have enough conflict, fighting, or exploring. I was, basically, shoving too many characters out the door in a rush to get some sleep. I lamented not using the RPG to set things up because that would have made things a whole lot better. Still, I soldiered on deciding to give at least one more character the axe.

But I didn’t stop writing. Yesterday, in fact, I wrote nearly 10,000 words in an effort to push on and complete. I wrote about that yesterday so I won’t do it again here, but it was difficult. It was hard. It was, in its own way, kind of painful.

What I Learned

So, I wrote 50,000 words in 30 days. I am a winner. What did I learn from the experience?

I learned that I can write more than flash fiction, whatever that is. I can write an entire story, even if I don’t think I can come up with characters, a plot, a story, or any of the other things that go along with it. It’s doable. What happened is that I was writing and then an idea, based on something else, would present itself and suddenly I had a direction to go in. Sure, it  may not be the best thing in the world, but it’s there. And it can be refined later on.

I learned that I didn’t need to like what I wrote. Here is my usual writing process:

  1. Think of an idea
  2. Load up a word processor
  3. Stare at the screen for a long time
  4. Write three sentences
  5. Decide that it’s crap and close the word processor declining to save it

That’s 90% of my ideas right there. By putting myself in a situation where I had a deadline to write a certain amount of words, though, meant keeping things that I thought were absolute horseshit. I would groan at the things I was writing, wishing a swift death upon myself. But I would need to keep it because otherwise my word count would go down and I’d have to replace it with something else. Which may be just as bad, if not worse. And then I started thinking, hey, I think it can be salvaged. When I have time I can just make a few changes and it’ll be all right.

It will be all right. Powerful words, they are. Not just in writing, but in other ways, too. Did your car break down? It will be all right. Have you just suffered a tragedy? It may not seem like it, but it will be all right. It’ll take time. It may take effort. But, you know, it will be all right. Don’t beat yourself up about it, don’t curse yourself, don’t take it out on others, because as long as you can still draw a breath — it will be all right.

What else. Oh, I learned to do it for myself. Like I said, 99% of people I know couldn’t care less about what I’m doing, so it was foolish to think anyone would be interested. I pushed on, not to impress people or to show off my MacBook Pro to the other Starbucks dwellers, but because I wanted to do it. What support I got was nice, believe me, but in the end it’s all about me. Seriously, think about it. Is it really easier to throw down the pen, sit back, and watch TV? It absolutely is! Is it rewarding? Well, not so much. If I ever feel down in the dumps would it make me feel better saying to myself, “Hey, don’t feel so bad. You watched Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D the other day!” No, not really. But I can always say to myself, now, “Buddy, you did something you never thought you’d be able to do. I will let you feel good about yourself.”

I also learned that, when  you think you’re going to fall down and fail, it’s better to keep going. I was absolutely convinced that I wouldn’t make it to 50K. Convinced. But I kept going, anyway, so I could at least see how far I would get. When I got to 35K I thought, “Hey, that’s not too bad. I’m more than halfway.” When I hit 40K I realized I only had 10,000 words to go. I’d already been at 10K and passed it. When I got to 45K, well… That’s when this tiny, squeaky voice in the back of my head said, “Holy shit! You’re only 5,000 words away from finishing! You wrote 5,000 words in one day not too long ago!” And I said to that squeaky voice,”Hey, I think I can do this. I really think I can do this!” That was yesterday. I thought I was going to fail all the way up to yesterday. Evening, no less. Magical things can happen.

Did I learn anything else? I sure did. You’d be amazed at the crap you start looking up on the Internet in the interest of ‘research.’ I was typing away, struggling with something, when I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to know what Hall & Oates was up to. Really. I hadn’t thought about Hall & Oates since the 1980s but, by God, I needed to know about them. And I wasted about an hour reading about them and watching videos on YouTube. Of course, once you’re on YouTube they show links to other bands that I suddenly had to know about. Even doing something as simple as wanting to know what a specific part of a fountain is called is like dropping acid at home and then following wondrous looking creatures through a fairyland of forests and gum drop trees until you finally come down and find yourself sleeping behind garbage cans in an inner city alley with no wallet. You have no idea how you go there and getting back to what you’re supposed to be doing will be a mighty chore.

Well, I guess that’s enough. I’ll probably think of more things that I learned later on. I’ll leave you with this and maybe you can get something out of it.



NaNoWriMo – Day 29


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Day 29. The deadline looms ahead. Every word is like a very, very, very tiny step towards the end. I don’t know that I’ll finish today because I’ve got about 10,000 words to go. Add a little extra, just in case the NaNoWriMo site counts words differently. I’ve been up and writing since about 3:30am. It was only recently I remembered to set the daily goal in Scrivener, so that’s going to be a bit short. Well, it ain’t getting written while I write this.

I wrote that this morning. After that, I played around with the daily goal thing in Scrivener. Originally I had subtracted what I wrote from what I wanted to write today. Then, later, I changed my mind and put it back to where it was (I think it was 4,000). Then I kept writing, taking a break every once in a while. I went to the store. I talked to the birds. I removed a cat from the keyboard. Usual things. Then I went back to writing, writing, writing.

Then I approached the 4,000 word goal so I changed it again. I added 500 words. When I got close to that, I used the NaNoWriMo site to figure out how many words I had left, and then I dived that by two. It looked pretty daunting, but I used it. And then I wrote, and wrote, and wrote.

Eventually I got to the point where, if I quit then, I would only have to write the standard 1,667 words tomorrow. But I was on a jag. I had a whole idea I was running with, so I didn’t want to step then. I’d would stop when I finished that part. I was getting close to the end of my story, anyway.

I kept pushing that goal boundary further and further. And then I realized, I didn’t really have a lot left. And I still had the whole ‘wrap-up’ part to write. I was getting tired and hungry, but, I thought, why not push on?

Sometime not too long ago I realized I only had about 500 words to go. 500? That’s nothing! I could totally stop now and write the rest tomorrow, when I was fresh and the day was young. Then weird thoughts started creeping into my head: What if the power went out? What if that comet broke up early and rained fiery death upon the land? What if I put off writing tomorrow until 11:45pm and then forgot to finish it?

Disregarding the fact that I have a laptop and power outages wouldn’t affect anything, I pushed on. I pushed on until I needed a hundred something words. But my story was finished. Oops. So I put the brain to work and managed to eek out a little more. Sure, it’s a bit contrived, but words is words, right?

I finished it. I nervously pasted the entire kaboodle into the story checker. A micro-second later it was there: Winner.

I was excited, sure. Also, very, very tired. I ended up with 50,125 words (or something like that) with 9,827 of them written today. Tomorrow, then, I’ll write the full re-cap.



NaNoWriMo – Day 28


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I hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. If you’re in the US, anyway. And you celebrate such things. I did. I went to see my mom and she very graciously let me work on my story as she worked relentlessly in the kitchen (thanks mom!). I got quite a lot written, then.

Then I went home and thought I would lie on the bed for a minute to do some quick reading. Somewhere in there I fell fast asleep, so I didn’t get anything down when I got home. I regret that, but I think I really needed the sleep.

But I was up early and I immediately started writing. So that’s where I am, now. And why this update is a little on the short side.



NaNoWriMo – Day 27


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Four thousand two hundred sixty one. That’s how many words I wrote today. Or, 4,261. I tried to get to 5,000 but I’m just beat. Tomorrow is another day, though. For some perspective, I have 11,522 words to go. So, if I can manage 3,000 words a day for the next three days, I’ll actually meet the 50K goal. This means that, as far as my brain is concerned, I’m still in the running. I can still manage that as long as I can come up with 3000 words worth of ideas. Of course, that depends on if the NaNoWriMo site’s word count matches up with mine. So it’s probably best to go over by quite a bit, just to make sure. Like 2,000 words worth.

In other news, I’ve been feeling giddy lately because they opened up a Popeye’s Chicken place not too far from me. Before, I had to make a 20 minute trip through suburbia to get to one. Now, it’s just about ten minutes away.

Today I had to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Unsurprisingly, with Thanksgiving coming, they were out of one thing that I needed. So I went to another store, which I rarely go to. I picked up the one item I needed and was waiting in line at the register, letting my mind wander. I was hoping to come up with a few more ideas for my story. So I was gazing out the front window when I saw letters on the side of a building. The letters were “eye’s.” The font the letters were in looked suspiciously familiar. You’re all probably quicker than I am and already realize that it’s another Popeye’s.

My brain is all fuzzy because it’s late and I’m tired, but I’m pretty sure that’s what it is. And it’s right next door to the Taco Bell I go to every once in a blue moon. I mean, immediately next door. I hope this is a new store and it hasn’t actually been there the entire time I’ve been going to the Taco Bell and I just haven’t noticed it. I would feel very stupid indeed.

I just checked the website, though, and they have no store listed there. So, either it is brandy new and I’m all right, or they’re shutting it down and it’s been there since forever and I’m a dolt.


NaNoWriMo – Day 26


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I won’t lie. It’s been tough this week, and it’s only three days into it. Yes, I’m behind where I want to be. I have a hard time even reaching the 1,667 word minimum that I should be doing, had I not lost a few days to fate.

Some people have been concerned with me saying that I felt like quitting. A workmate, in fact, gave me a dressing down for even mentioning it. A couple of fellow NaNoWriMoers sent some interesting thoughts my way. A Google+ person even had some good words to say. This has not gone unnoticed and I appreciate it and it keeps me going.

The fact is, quitting is easy. Well, not for me. For me quitting can be hard, as I think I mentioned. I may be a loser, but I’m not a quitter and when it comes down to it I’d rather be an ‘also-ran’ versus a ‘never-ran.’

Sometimes, rarely, a conversation comes up about living forever. Most people say they don’t want to, for whatever reason. But I would. And when asked why, I say, “because I want to see what happens next.” That’s also why when unpleasant conversations come up about suicide I say I wouldn’t. Then people pile on all kinds of horrible things that could happen trying to find my breaking point. The thing is, though, is that the future is malleable and can always change. Something truly unfortunate could happen today, but that doesn’t mean that tomorrow won’t hold something better. Today may be crap and tomorrow may not be looking all that hot either, but what about the day after tomorrow? Or next Wednesday?

Maybe my ideas are running dry today, but that doesn’t mean tomorrow I won’t have a brainstorm and toss out a few thousand words. I may get despondent from time to time but it doesn’t mean I’ve given up hope, just that I need to vent a little.



NaNoWriMo – Day 25


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Well, this month has just flown by. Sadly, I don’t think there’s any way I’ll be able to reach 50,000 words by Saturday. I suppose I just don’t have it in me to sacrifice sleep, a job, and caring for the pets enough to achieve it. 

I did get to put some words down yesterday at Starbucks. It’s always nice pulling out the Apple laptop and working on my book there. I feel almost as if I belong. Anyway, the question people would be asking me (if anyone cared enough to ask me) is, now that I’m sure I won’t make it, so I keep going and see just how far I can go? Or do I stop and start watching American Dad on Netflix

It’s a tough decision, but the truth is, I’m not one to give up. Not even when it’s in my best interest to do so. I don’t like admitting failure, even though failing is the one thing I’m really good at. So, like a fool, I will probably press on. Maybe, at some point, I can do something with this story. Even though I don’t think it’s very good.



NaNoWriMo – Day 24


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Today has been challenging. I cut myself off from the Internet, for the most part. Concentrated on writing. And, still, by the evening I only had 2,500 words written. This is bad. But, at least it’s writing and it is getting done. However, every day that passes by that I don’t meet the minimum required by mathematics is another day behind that I get.

I noticed, too, that word count discrepancies with Scrivener aren’t confined to Windows vs OS X. My laptop version has a different word count than my Mini. And it’s the same freaking document.

Speaking of which, I went to a write in this morning and brought my laptop. I save all my Scrivener things to my Google drive (because I always forget I have a Drop Box account). When I got home, I loaded up Scrivener on the Mini and didn’t have all the stuff I wrote when I was at the donut shop. Panic! Loot!

It turns out, I saved the document and closed the laptop before letting Google Drive sync. Thankfully, after a few minutes I was able to get the complete story, even though the Mini showed me as having written a total of 18 words, not the nearly 800 I wrote while scarfing down a kolache.

I ended up writing over 3,600 words today. The disappointing part is that the official count on the website says I wrote only 1,600 something. I know that’s not true and it’s kind of disheartening. Just because. My total is somewhere around 31,000. Which is more than halfway done, but I still feel like there’s a problem with word count somewhere. And Google Drive won’t sync all the files because it keeps saying there’s a problem with one of them. Yet, I don’t have the same issue on either of the other two computers. It’s all rather frustrating. I may end up creating a new project and copying and pasting everything over manually and see what that does. The thing is, I’d rather concentrate on writing rather than fixing technical issues.



NaNoWriMo – Day 23


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I have been writing all day. All freaking day. And I’m still under 2,000 words written today. This is very disappointing. It would probably be easier if I had some sort of direction to go in, but right now my characters are just ambling along and not doing much of anything. I’m going to bite the bullet and write the… thing. The part of the book where the conflict is resolved. Whatever it’s called. If that doesn’t get me closer to closing this 7,000 word deficit then I’ll probably hang up my writing hat.

Of course, I’m assuming I’m under my 2,000 words. The problem, as I see it, is that I’m using Scrivener on Windows and OS X. The OS X version is friendly and happily tells me that I have [X] number of words in my project.

The Windows version tells me I have [X]-2000 words. And then it cackles, maniacally. I don’t know which one to believe, but if I get anywhere near 50,000 words then I’m going to validate it with the OS X version.

I will not be going out for my customary Saturday dinner, as I will continue to strive towards getting this deficit closed. Those are the kind of sacrifices I’m willing to make. Luckily, I got a nice pep talk by a friend of mine at work. A little encouragement can go a long way.

Amazingly, I wrote a lot. Not anywhere near the amount I need to get any closer to my goal, but it was a lot better than I thought it would be.




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