Been a long, long, while…

Tags

apple, camaro, corvette, e-cig, imac, microsoft, pc, single-task, skype, windows, word

It’s been quite some time since I’ve last written to the blog. I’m still using the e-cigs, although I used them less frequently than I have been. I can go for a day or so without even realizing that I haven’t used it. In truth, I only remember to use it when I think about how long it has been since I’ve picked it up. Not that there aren’t times when I wish I had a cigarette; there are. I just don’t give in. Some people would attribute this to my incredible will power but, really, it’s just laziness. I don’t want to go out and buy any. Plus, I’m rather proud of myself for not smoking and resisting the urge to smoke.

Back in the old days computers were single-tasking. That meant that you could run your word processor or your spreadsheet or  your calendar or  whatever else. You weren’t going to be using one at the same time as another. Over the years computers have gotten quicker and software companies became savvy and we ended up with systems where you could do more than one thing at once. You can now check your email while you’re surfing the web while talking to someone using Skype (or whatever).

I find it amusing, then, that thanks to cell phones, computers are now going back in the direction of single-tasking. If you don’t believe me, just have a look at the direction Windows is going. Microsoft would prefer you use the “modern” applications which are single use, non-windowed, programs (mostly; yes, I know it’s possible to run two at once but who’s going to go that crazy?).

in other news: I still have a job. I’m also seeing someone so I am no longer alone. Now I can watch and see just how jealous animals get when they’re used to something being one way and then it all changes the other day. Luckily, animals will adapt. I’m sure.

I also still have the Challenger, although the new Corvette is looking mighty good. I’m not all that happy with the Camaro butt they gave it, but it’s hard not to like the rest of it. Performance-wise, it’s a bargain. If you were looking for an honest-to-God-I-want-a-fast-car then you’d be foolish not to look at the 2014 Corvette.

What I haven’t done lately is take the camera out for some photographing. I don’t think there’s any specific reason for this, other than spending time with someone new. The good new about spending time with someone new, though, is that it opens up new opportunities for going out with the camera.

I’ve seen the new 27″ iMac in person and I think it’s a marvel. I haven’t gotten one yet, although I’m sorely tempted. I’m hoping that, with such a beast, I’d be more likely to write and work on it rather than on the Windows (i.e. ‘game enabled’) PC and be less distracted. It’s still a huge out-lay of money, though, on a new computer of which I have more than plenty.

On a positive note, the humble Mac Mini is pulling it’s weight by taking on more roles than just a VPN server for when I end up at Starbucks. It’s actually proving to be quite useful if woefully under powered. I’m hoping an infusion of memory will help with that since it’s limping along with 4GB.

 

 

Going Vapid – Part I

Tags

challenger, cigarette, e-cig, electronic, Electronic cigarette, Health, Nicotine, smoking, Smoking cessation, Tobacco, Tobacco smoking

At the urgings of a few people I have delved into the world of online dating. So far I’ve met a total of 0 people from it. After investigating a few women’s profiles I have to come to the realization of what the problem is and why I am so reviled by women of all kinds. It’s all due to being a fat smoker.

Last Saturday a friend of mine took me to All About Vapor in order to find me an electronic cigarette. The plan was to switch from regular old cigarettes to the electronic one in order to wean myself off the smoke stuff.

The thing about the electronic cigarette is that it doesn’t use smoke. Instead, it makes a vapor that is inhaled and delivering the nicotine. While it’s probably not healthy for you, it’s probably not as harmful as a cigarette since you’re not inhaling burning leaves and paper and getting a bunch of tar. The oils can also be flavored so you’re not stuck with a tobacco or menthol flavor. There’s a huge range of flavors available from regular tobacco to coffee to desserts to Mountain Dew.

My New Light Saber

Monday was the first day of going completely without a cigarette, relying completely on the e-cig. I think it went pretty well, except that I was using the thing nearly constantly. I figure this had more to do with habit than a nicotine craving. You see, there are various set times when I smoke: waking up with coffee, when I get into a car (which I’ve already curbed by not smoking in Dimples the Toxic Challenger), when I need a break at work, after meals, and before I go to sleep. Also, when I get ridiculously bored. The other problem is using a cigarette as a timer. You can only smoke a cigarette for a few minutes before it burns down and is gone. An e-cig can go for, oh, a few hours. So stepping outside to take a break for as long as a smoke lasts can be a very, very bad idea.

Tuesday was better. A lot of times the e-cig was used as a device to amuse my co-workers. Some think it looks like a light saber, others think it looks like the mind eraser from Men In Black, others think it looks like a pipe stem when I hold it and start using it to point at things. Personally, I think it looks like a crack pipe and that makes me a little nervous about using it in public. Mostly, though, I do use it as a pipe. I puff on it thoughtfully while having heavy thoughts.

Wednesday was fine. Although I did start the day with a real cigarette just to see what it would be like. It wasn’t very pleasant, really. I got all jittery and my tongue got kind of hurty. The battery lasted most of the day (for a change) and I only had to refill the fluid once during the day (yesterday I didn’t have to re-fill it at all because I left the oils at home).

Overall, I’m pleased. After a few more days I’ll feel confident enough to change my dating profile to be a non-smoker. I’m hoping my tastebuds will start working again, soon. It’s also good that I don’t have to worry about a lighter dying suddenly without having a backup on me.

So… So far so good, I reckon.

 

Of Pizzas Past

Tags

calzone, deep dish pizza, Food, greatest thing since sliced bread, love, missing, pizza, pizza dough, pizza hut, pizza my heart, priazzo, restaurants

There are times when I get nostalgic about things. Usually it’s stuff from my childhood. Usually it’s about stuff that nobody even remembers, much less cares about. In this case I was thinking of the Priazzo pizza that Pizza Hut was making back in the 1980s.

Personally, I loved them. A deep dish pizza crammed with cheese and meats and vegetables and sauce, then covered by another layer of pizza dough and topped with sauce and more cheese. I thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

At some point I thought about sending an email to the Pizza Hut corporate headquarters asking if they could ever bring it back.

For those who don’t remember (or were too young to remember or who weren’t even born yet), the Priazzo looked like this:

The beautiful Priazzo!

Before I could send the email, though, I received an email from Pizza Hut. The subject mentioned an “overstuffed pizza.” My heart lept! Could it be? Could they be bringing back my lost love? I opened the email and saw this:

A big flat calzone.

It’s not a Priazzo. It’s… kind of flat. I was disappointed. Disappointed enough to actually write a blog about it.

One day. Maybe one day…

 

Technological Wonders

Tags

Archive, Clay tablet, gadgets, IPad, IPhone, Mobile device, mythological story, mythology, Paper, Proto-Elamite, speculation, Stylus, Technology

A while ago I had written about how the evolution of our technology could let us look at mythology a bit differently. For example, a mythological story about someone who waved a magic necklace at a door causing it to melt into the walls. To someone in the 1800s, or whatever, it would be perfectly reasonable for them to assume that it was a magic necklace and that the walls had literally absorbed a door into them. You know, because it’s magic. With new-fangled inventions, though, it could be looked at as someone waving a key card and the door just slid into the wall. Kind of like we might see every day now.

Thinking about that sent me on another track of thought. In this case, way back in the early days of civilization, people used to write on clay tablets with a stylus. There are problems with clay tablets, though: they break when dropped, glyphs can be erased if the clay is too soft or too wet, they were kind of hard to store, and stuff like that.

Eventually papyrus was used. It was easier to store and you didn’t have to worry about writing quickly before it dried out. On the other hand, you had to worry about it getting wet and it tended to not last very long.

Paper made an appearance. I suppose it could be considered a slightly more durable version of papyrus. Technology wore on, though, and things got better and paper stuck around for a very long time.

Then computers came around and paper was used for archiving purposes, mostly (actually, that’s not entirely true as paper usage went up when computers and printers hit the scene). Paper archives gave way to digital archives (presumably; I haven’t checked the stats lately).

But, people wanted something they could bring with them. The Osbornes weren’t quite light enough and didn’t have a battery. Laptops arrived and people rejoiced. It didn’t take too long, though, before those were too large and unwieldily.

This brought us the PDA. A small hand-held device that could be taken nearly anywhere. The early ones used a stylus to make glyphs directly on the screen, which would then be translated into a readable character.

And so, we had come full circle. We ditched the primitive clay and stylus and worked our way all the way around to a digital tablet and a plastic stylus. That still wasn’t enough for us, though, and that brought about the touch-sensitive screen. Because you could lose those.

We’ve improved on the tablet, of course. Now it’s in color and covered in Gorilla Glass. I have to wonder if they’ll be as durable as a clay tablet when it comes time for future generations to try and figure out what we were doing, here in the 20th and 21st centuries. I reckon they’ll be surprised when they find out we liked to fling birds at pigs. In a best case scenario future archeologists will think we were all very interested in physics. And animal abuse. But mostly physics.

They’ll also probably think we all worshipped cats, what with the proliferation of captioned cat photos.

 

Dominion

Tags

apple, domain, imac, Mac Mini, macbook, Magic Mouse, mini, network, os x, pretentious, server, starbucks, steve jobs, win8, windows 8, workstation

It was my birthday yesterday. Aside from one surprise (which is due to raise my electric bill by another $100), the day was pretty crappy. I went to work, had two people cancel on going out to dinner, gave up on having dinner, went home, made dinner and went to bed. That was my special day.

However, since I don’t want people to buy me really expensive things I decided to take today and go shopping for that expensive present. I had thought about ordering it on Amazon and having it gift wrapped just so I could pretend somebody sent me something but I decided that doing that would be a sure sign of insanity. Not doing that, though, meant taking a trip to The Domain.

Now, last week I went early. Around 9am early. The store was open and went I went inside to ask if they had the Mac Mini nobody said anything other, “No, not yet.” So I journeyed there today at the same time. A little early, actually. Early enough to go to Starbucks, have a coffee, and sit in the fog. Sit in fog not sitting because, in true fascist tradition, The Domain doesn’t allow smoking in areas that are not marked for smoking. There are no places marked for smoking, despite being outside in the open air. Now, this doesn’t bother me too much because most smokers are dicks when it comes to getting rid of their cigarette butts. I’ve seen smokers sit right next to an ashtray and just flick their butts off into the grass, onto the sidewalk, and wherever else looks handy. I completely understand that it gets to be a nuisance to clean up after people who don’t have the sense to use an ashtray. That’s why I found it odd that people are allowed to let their dogs run around on a leash and pee all over the place.

Anyway, 9am came along and I went to the Apple store and asked for the iMac Mini. I was told they had them in stock, but that they were only open for help, training, and gawking at the products.

“So….” I said, “my choices are doing nothing for an hour or not buying it at all?”

“Yes,” said the grinning droid.

This annoyed me greatly, but it appears that The Domain is pretentious and snooty that no places had hours of operations posted. I looked at several different stores and not one that I saw said they were open from xx to xx on any given day. I guess if you’re uber-rich or a wannabe-uber-rich person you inherently know this information.

After another, longer, trip to Starbucks I went back to the store, waited a while for someone to help me, went and found someone to help me, found out he was a “genius”  and, as such, wasn’t qualified to help me, and then waited while he went to find someone of lesser genius-ness that could help me.

Eventually, after refusing the Apple iCare thing and not actually wanting to talk about what I was trying to buy, I was able to purchase a brand new base model iMac Mini.

I feel at this point I need to state this again because when people find out I’m buying an Apple product they all think I’m “switching sides.” I’m not. I still don’t like Apple as a company. I still don’t think Steve Jobs was the second coming of Jesus. I bought the laptop because I needed to get a handle on OS X (turns out, it’s not that much different from anything else) and I wanted the Mini because it’s small, draws little power, and can be used (theoretically) to be a VPN server. In a sentence full of irony I’ll say that I want a VPN server so I can connect my Apple MacBook Pro to Starbucks Wi-Fi and use it without worrying about security issues that come with using an open Wi-Fi connection.

So, after I finally got it all (and realized that Apple prices could be a bit lower if they skimped a little on the bag they give you) and got it home. I turned it on after finding the power button and proceeded to set it up. As is usual for me, I had problems doing a Time Machine backup and eventually had to reboot to get it to work. After that I set up the VPN and found out that it doesn’t like to go through my firewall. My other computers don’t have a problem, but the Mini does. However, I’m willing to concede that it has something to do with my excessively complicated home network.

Oddly enough, I’m using my desktop with a VNC viewer to control the Mini (I didn’t bother spending another ludicrous amount of money for a Magic Mouse, baby keyboard, and a platinum gilded monitor with precious gems for buttons). I’m using the desktop (a Windows 8 desktop) because the Mini won’t let the MacBook access it remotely. Awesome.

So, now it’s time to re-configure all things networky in here. Taking a good look at everything I’ve come to the realization that, with the hardware I have in my bedroom, I should be able to support an organization consisting of about 100-150 employees.

It’s also become evident that the Universe (or God, or Buddha, or Karma — take your pick) has decided that while all women in the world hate me I’m totally allowed to spend a bunch of money on electronic crap. Seriously ladies, you’re missing out on a great guy who would be spending this money on you, but you just don’t think I’m good enough.

And that, with the ever-present laundry, is how I’m spending my post-birthday day. Now, if I could only think of something else to talk about so I can get up to 1,000 words.

Nope, I sure can’t. So I hope you enjoyed the previous almost 1,000 words.

Dominion Addendum:

Oops, I forgot about the trip to the Microsoft Store. Turns out, I was having difficulty finding the iSCSI initiator in Windows 8. I dropped into the store (Apple bag slung over my shoulder, as is the hip way to carry your Apple products) to see if anyone there knew anything about it.

Turns out, they didn’t. The help I got consisted of a guy using Bing to search for the same thing I searched for on Google. Then, like a dummy, I remembered that I never bothered using Windows 8 built-in help. This is mostly because Windows’ help is usually useless. So I commandeered a Dell, searched for it in the help, and found my answer. All of a sudden the guy “helping” insisted that it was, indeed, possible to use iSCSI with Windows 8. Yeah… no kidding…

 

Little Manhattan

Tags

apple, burger king, charms, domain, fast food, gadgets, imac, mall, microsoft, mini, pretentious, rich, server, simon, Technology, vlc, windows 8

I went to get the oil changed in the car today. I had been thinking, lately, of getting a Mac Mini. Mostly because I want something that I can use as a server, leave on all the time, and not have to worry about it catching on fire or shooting my electric bill through the roof. Further through the roof. Unfortunately, I’ve also found a reason to get the 27″ iMac. Even worse, I found out I can buy a 12 bay NAS on the cheap (cheaper than the iMac). Since I was in the area (sort of) I decided to head over to the Apple store.

The closest Apple store is in a place called The Domain. The Domain is marketed as a mall. When someone says the word “mall” to me I think of a big building with lots of stores and fast food places. What The Domain is, really, a small town. The only ‘inside’ is the interior of the shops and restaurants. There are streets and walkways. There are also apartments. It’s big enough that if you park on the wrong side of the place you want to go, or section, then you might find it more reasonable to go back to your car and drive closer. You may as well call it “Little Manhattan” despite being harder to navigate than New York City.

The place is also a concentration of pretentiousness. If you aren’t rich, you don’t belong in this little town. If you aren’t rich you should feel privileged to be able to walk through the place. Which is funny, because you won’t be seeing people all dressed up or a car more expensive than a Porsche. Unless they hide the things.

It seems that living in the apartments there is the way to go. Once you’re in Little Manhattan you can shop for expensive stuff, go to the movies, eat at restaurants that won’t even acknowledge the existence of Burger King, and do whatever it is the super-rich do. Seriously, how many shopping malls do you know of that have valet parking?

After getting lost, I found the Apple store. I walked in and was greeted by a friendly fellow who wanted to help me. I asked about the Mac Mini, got my answer, and walked out. It was a lot less traumatic than I thought it would be.

For the sake of completeness, and because it’s practically next door, I decided to stop into the new Microsoft store. Speaking of the real Manhattan, I’m the type of person who rode the subway, walked the streets with a expensive computer equipment, and even walked around with an entire paycheck in my pocket in cash — all without fear. Walking into the Microsoft store made me nervous. Not because I didn’t feel like I didn’t belong, but because a swarm of MS Drones grouped around me, complete with robotic smiles and pre-taped sales pitch.

One them beat the rest of the drones and asked if I was interested in the Surface. Being an honest person I said, “no.” She assured me that I should have a seat and play with one for a while. It would, she assured me, “blow you away.”

At this point I realized there were two directions I could go with this. I could be truthful and say something like:

“Honey, I’ve been using computers since before they had color graphics. I’ve been using them since before you were born. Computers aren’t sexy, cool, or edgy; they are either useful or not useful. Tablets, pads, laptops are all just computers and I know them. I understand them. They all do the same thing. The only difference between them is how they’re displayed. The Surface couldn’t ‘blow me away’ unless it sprouted arms, unzipped my pants, and did unmentionable things to me.”

Instead I took the polite route and said, “I’m sure it will.” I touched it for about three seconds just to see how the keyboard was. Then I tried the cheaper keyboard and was reminded of the Atari 400′s membrane keyboard, except not as good. For the record, if you’re thinking of getting a Surface you want the more expensive keyboard.

Speaking of Microsoft, I did upgrade to Windows 8. I suspect it’s going to become a large part of my working life so I figured I should go ahead and do it even though I didn’t care for the preview versions.

After using it for a few hours I’d say it’s not that bad. The Start screen is kind of clunky, but it’s got some interesting stuff. There are a number of things that I think are wrong, but that’s not surprising. Microsoft doesn’t care about usability and they don’t appear to have a sense of what would be a good idea or not.

For instance, I have three monitors. After the upgrade it messed around with the screen ordering. I spent about fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to change it (mostly because right-clicking on the desktop caused the ‘circle of infinity’ to spin but not show the context menu until I rebooted). After I got that sorted out, it still decided that the monitor to the right was the main screen. Which it isn’t. You can’t specify where the Start menu appears from what I can tell. You also can’t keep the Start screen up if you’re using the desktop. It disappears, which is kind of a shame. With all the ticker boxes and crap, it would be nifty to have it stay up if I’m not actively using that screen for something. The Time/Date section only appears on the far right of the right side monitor which makes it difficult to check easily. It’s kind of a mess, but Windows 8 was never designed to be used on a desktop, much less one with more than a single monitor. Also, I can’t have something like VLC play in full screen and use a program on a different monitor because when you do that the task bar takes up the bottom edge. Which is why I’m typing this using my MacBook.

In fact, it may be that Windows 8 is the reason why I’m considering getting not one, but two Apple computers in the future.

 

 

Bibbles, Bobbles, and Boobels.

Tags

2012, 8, call girl, dime, dime box, hooker, prostitution, server, sex, Travel, windows, windows 8, woohoo

I’ve decided that Windows 8 isn’t so bad. I’ve actually found it to be amusing, for a few minutes at least. This is what I like to do: find someone who has been using Windows for a very long time. Then sit them down in front of Windows 8 and ask them to shut it down. It will give you quite some time of fun watching this person eventually pull their hair out by the roots. If the person is especially gifted, though, they’ll give up after a minute or two and shut it down from the command line. For people who don’t know that method, though, there’s no telling how long the pain will go on. The same is true for Server 2012, by the way.

I’m not a Windows server expert, but it seems to be that things that were simple in the past are now much more complicated. This is the Microsoft way. It’s complicated enough that I’m considering getting it for the home just so I can figure it out. I think we all know by now that I’m a masochist that way.

I’ve been thinking of prostitution later. Not because I’m thinking of changing my career path, or just because I would have to pay someone to even look at me, but because it turns out that Maine is a hotbed of prostitution. Maybe not the whole state, but at least one town.

This makes me wonder, again, just why it’s illegal. People get paid to do things all the time and I’m just not seeing why sex would be any different. Given the large number of people on the customer list in Kennebunk it seems like it was a popular business that was wanted by quite a lot of people.

I’ve never heard a good argument for it being illegal. Diseases can spread without the help of a hooker. Infidelity is not limited to street walkers. There’s crime all over the place with or without the benefit of high class escorts.

So, if you have a really good idea of why it is illegal (aside from the whole ‘sex is evil’ part) feel free to let me know.

I went to Dime Box, TX last week. You might not have heard of the place. That would be surprising because Dime Box, TX has a big dime. It’s in a box. Pretty clever, actually.

Stuff to see when you hit the small towns

So, I have struck it from my list of places to see. One down and… Several more to go.

Manor, TX	Ghost Town (J. Lorraine)
Bertram, TX	Car Part T-Rex
Wimberley, TX	Pioneer Town replica
San Marcos, TX	Mystery Spot
Dime Box, TX	Big Dime in a Box
Kingsland	Texas Chainsaw Massacre Restaurant (Junction House)
Waco, TX	Mammoth Site
Columbus, TX	Confed Museum
Columbus, TX	Santa Clause Museum
Columbus, TX	Industrial Country Market
Helena, TX	Ghost Town
Regency Bridge, TX	Suspension Bridge
Hunt, TX	Stonehenge II
Banderas, TX	Frontier Timex Museum
Thurber, TX	Lonely Smokestack
Grapevine, TX	Gunfight Glockenspiel
Woodson, TX	Bombed by Japanese
Muenster, TX	Fischer Meat Market/Glockenspiel
Carthage, TX	Jim Reeves
Langtry, TX	Judge Roy Bean Saloon
Wink, TX	Roy Orbison Museum
Marfa, TX	Marfa Lights
McLean, TX	Rt. 66 Museum
Valentine, TX	Prada Store
Big Bend, TX	Park
Adrian, TX	Rt. 66 Midpoint
El Paso	Hueco Tanks State Park

Château Chapeau

Tags

bowler, failed, fedora, hat, head, headgear, noggin, panama, writing

If you’ve been reading this for any length of time you know that I wonder, from time to time, why it is I haven’t managed to become a real writer. Why am I not famous? Why am I not fabulously wealthy with a bunch of book groupies (bookies?). In the past I had thought it was because I wasn’t insane. Then I wondered if, perhaps, it wasn’t because I hadn’t committed suicide yet.

I find it difficult to believe that I am not a wondrous writer. I am also sure that not actually writing anything isn’t part of the problem. So I bent my will to finally finding the definitive reason why the Universe is keeping me down. And I believe I have found the reason, at last. Please, have a gander at this:

Four famous authors with something in common

Take a good look and let me know what you see that all four of these hugely famous authors have in common. I’ll wait while you peruse.

Have you figured it out? They all have hats. Yes, hats. I don’t have a hat. I think I look silly in a hat. The God of Writing, it would seem, has a love of hats. Thus, I am at a disadvantage.

So, if I bit the bullet and bought myself a chapeau would my writing reflect the hat I’m wearing? Or should I just buy a bowler and get it over with while hoping for the best?

 

Another Friday Night

Tags

bistro table, daisies, life, musings, time

It’s nice outside. There’s been quite a bit of rain and it’s quite cool. In an odd twist of weather, my apartment door is actually catching so it won’t blow open when the wind cuts across the patio. And that’s why I’m sitting outside at the bistro table, gazing out at the ugly colored apartment buildings and the industrial warehouse looking thing down the way.

I’m supposed to be working on a short story for a friend of mine. I told him that I could whip one up for him if he gave me a starting point. I’m having some trouble with it, though. The mind, the imagination, isn’t what it used to be. I’d feel like I was copping out if I said that I’m tired beyond words; that’s there’s too much work to do with too little rest, and I have things that weight heavily on my mind. I’d feel like I’m copping out but, really, that’s the truth of it.

This week has not been easy. It’s actually been an emotional roller coaster. Some of that can be blamed on September 11th being in it. That was not an easy day and some memories just won’t fade away.

Here I sit, watching the world go on without me. People in dozens of apartments living their lives that I know nothing about. Cars fly by on the highway, yet I don’t know what they are, where they came from, where they’re going, or who is driving. Somebody is singing, probably, a couple is probably arguing. Surely there’s a minivan with tired kids in the back nodding off and just wanting to get into their own beds. Probably there’s another couple holding hands on their way to or from dinner. None of this is part of me as I sit on my perch and watch it pieces of it all fly by in time around me.

Life starts off slow. A summer can take years to go by, and winters are full of snow that take an eternity to melt. As life goes on, though, it speeds up. Homework assignments are handed out and then the due date mysteriously springs up right in front you. Reports are due. Deadlines aren’t getting met. The relationship that should have lasted forever explodes and ends in shattered fragments of pain. The bills were just paid, yet more are piling up on the counter to take their place. We’ll do this next weekend! Or the weekend after, I promise. We’ll have fun when we get around to it next month. Next year is looking pretty good, we can go then. By then it’s too late, something is gone — missing from the world, missing from your life. You look back full of knowledge that life was too full to fit it in. Retrospection betrays you, though; there was plenty of time, plenty of room, it just wasn’t visible at the time.

The daisies bob in the wind with their full shiny faces pointed to the sun. We could learn something from them as long as we don’t let too much science get in the way.

If there wasn’t so much stuff to do, work would be the best place in the world. Meetings are full of jokes, smiles, laughs, and groans at bad puns. Music lyrics get woven into conversations. A small group of people discussing a product can be confused with three movie scripts being read out loud and yet it all makes sense. Obscure game and computer references fly like sparrows.

And that — that is my Friday night, before I head off to bed.

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Turning Luddite

Tags

facebook, microsoft, Microsoft Windows, Operating system, Start menu, Utilities, windows, windows 8

 

I am the most technologically minded Luddite that I know. I’m becoming more and more disenchanted with technological things as each day passes. Mostly, I think people that develop hardware and software have gone completely stupid. Some people may think that’s funny, but I’m completely serious.

A lot of people dump on Microsoft but, really, they deserve it. If you look at the current Windows OS and Office it becomes apparent that what they try to do is make everything as difficult as possible with each new release.

For instance, Windows 8. After years of trying to shoehorn a desktop operating system into small phones and tablets (and failing), they’ve gone totally stupid and decided that they were going to wedge a phone/tablet operating system onto desktops and servers. I can’t imagine the meetings that took place when everyone agreed this was an awesome idea. I can’t imagine that anyone involved wasn’t near-death drunk or just plain stupid.

I was playing with Server 2012 yesterday and my co-worker needed to shut it down. He looked everywhere for the shutdown option. He used the idiotic “Start” screen, after clicking on the server setup icon that’s located where the “Start” button used to be multiple times, getting angrier every time he did it. It wasn’t his fault; muscle memory takes over and after having that button there for so long, it’s just second nature. Did the server info window have a shut down option? No, it did not. He clicked everywhere, looked everywhere, and finally gave up in frustration and pulled the cord out of the back.

Later, I went back and tried to find it because I knew it had to exist somewhere. And I found it: if you hover over the very tiny ‘-’ that shows up in the bottom right hand corner, and then very carefully move the mouse straight up, and then click on one of the unmarked icons that appear, then you get another screen that actually has the option to shut down the server.

This could only have been designed by a fucking idiot. After decades of a three step process (Start button, shutdown, yes) they made a system that is completely un-intuitive and utterly unlike anything from past Windows systems. The three step process is now five.

And that’s how it is with them. Every new release means making sure, designing, that whatever you want to do is now hidden and more complicated to get to.

And this is completely opposite of what computers are supposed to do, which is makes things easier and less frustrating.

But it isn’t just Microsoft; it’s everybody. You might want to go to a website and look at something really quick but suddenly these windows start appearing to tell you what you can do, or what you might want to do, or what that widget in the corner does. And all the while you don’t care. You just want to read the damn text on the screen but you’re too busy clicking on ‘X’s to get rid of all the annoying crap that comes up. Who thinks these are good ideas? Who thinks, “Hey, you know what people love? Being annoyed to the point where they ready to punch the screens! They love that! We should make sure we annoy the complete shit out of everyone that uses our software so they’ll love us!”

To me, it just looks like it’s getting worse. Every new generation of developer appears to be way more stupid than the last. And understand this: I’m not using the word ‘stupid’ to be funny; I’m using it because I truly believe that these people are brain dead. Absolutely, 100%, have no intelligence whatsoever. I don’t care what kind of IQ rating these people have, they just don’t think. It amazes me that some of the design decisions they make seem like good ideas to them.

In a way, it makes me sad. And angry. Very angry.

In fact, I have a problem at work. I’m supposed to be testing a piece of software that works with our product. I can’t work on this thing for more than five minutes before flying into a rage because it is a piece of garbage. It’s not written well, it’s way too complicated, and it’s nearly impossible to set up properly. And my boss wants me to talk to these people. I’m actually afraid to talk to these people because I have absolutely nothing nice to say about their product. Nothing. I can’t think of one thing that works correctly.

Just for the record, and I understand that I’m just one person that doesn’t amount to anything in the grand scheme of things, but if someone sends me a link to a website and the first thing that happens when I go there is that a window shows up with useless information, then I don’t look at it. I close the tab and never go back.  The same is true with the games on Facebook. I mean, I’m sorry to all my friends and family that want to advance, but, really, I can’t take the constant spam of bothering other people and the screens, and screens, and screens, and screens of crap trying to get me to pay for something. I can understand trying to make money, but that’s not the way to do it. If I went to a store and a salesperson was constantly in my face trying to sell me something I didn’t want how long do you think I’d stay in the store? How often do you think I would go back?

I am so disappointed in the direction technology is going and what people think would be a good idea.